Catch you. Catch me. GOTCHA!

Here comes... the REPORTER!

Diva Name: April O'Neill
Game Boy Games she is in: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Return to the Sewers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3: Radical Rescue, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2.
The picture is our special edition DMG Ice cover featuring April.
Why? Because JUST like Kill Bill Volume 1 & 2, we can exploit and pretend that something that should have just been ONE interview can be split in half and made into TWO interviews! Because it is ART! Yeah! ART! Now, pretend I'm a genius while I silently count my money.

That said: Quentin Tarantino has a really ugly chin. I mean, it looks like a butt and it is RIGHT THERE under his evil bad guy pointy nose. Ever notice that when he talks, he exudes a "I'm so ugly I can afford to pretend I am clever" air about him?

The April interview PART 1

We at DMG Ice, always get the latest scoops on the hottest DMG Divas!
Well, there just so happen to be a lot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle games right now! And considering that this is the month of April, we have chosen APRIL O'NEIL for our DMG Diva.

Well, at least that was how it was supposed to be.
Apparently, she is in some other country currently investigating a link between Shredder and various dictators. Good for her and bad for us. So, instead of doing our interview this time; we will do an interview with her in August when she will be back. This time, we will give you a little bit of information about our heroine!

April O'Neill has been in quite a few Game Boy games.
In fact, she has been in three for the original Game Boy and two for the Game Boy Advance.

We have reviews of all three of her original Game Boy games.
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: "Fall of the Foot Clan"-72%
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: "Fall of the Foot Clan" - Robby Cox-80%
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: "Fall of the Foot Clan" - Peter Berg -84%
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: "Back from the Sewers" - Robby Cox-88%
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 - Lord Alucard -76%
  • A few things of note about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle franchise! In Europe, it was called Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles; because Ninja had bad connotations. In Japan, they starred in a two part OVA where they aquired the ability to mutate into Super Turtles and then become great big Steel Turtle Warriors. (....)

    Enough about that, April has many different roles
    in the history of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. In the original comics, she was a lab assistent to Dr. Baxter Stockman. He tried to feed her to his Mouser robots and the turtles saved her. She followed them around ever since. In the original cartoon, the movies, and in the later comics: April is a reporter who runs around in a bright yellow jacket and gets the fair and balanced scoop on the crazy things that happen in the town that the turtles live in. Fine, she covers what happens in NEW YORK. Turtles live in the sewers in New York. Apparently the C.H.U.D. do not bother them. Sadly, there are no Spider-Man & Ninja Turtles cross-overs. EVER. YOu know you want to see one; but never! NEVER! I mean, Shredder could team up with Doctor Octopus and The Scorpion to steal the Statue of Liberty! Then you could see Spidey catch Baxter Stockman in a web! That would be it right there! Or better yet, The Lizard fights the turtles and then -for all the CREEPY TMNT fans- one of the turtles could make out with April while being suspended upside down on a web! YES! It has to be done! I shall make it my goal! But first: Back to this waste of time.

    April has a career of sorts!
    She has been voiced and portrayed in animation and live action films by a number of people. Here is a list of the voice actors who have played her and the poor unfortunate people who play her in the live action movies.

    Renae Jacobs -
    She did the voice of the April in the original TV show and it's various specials. She apparently did not do much else. Oh, well. It must have been THE CURSE!

    Veronica Taylor -
    She is the new voice for April in the current tv show. She is also Ash from Pokemon, Amelia from Slayers, and a bunch of other anime including Shaman King, Grave of the Fireflies, and Night on the Galactic Railroad. Only April in the USA to amount to a hill of beans or other brown matter. She is also pretty cool by the way.

    Emi Shinohara -
    This is her Japanese voice actor from the two episode OVA series. She was Sailor Jupiter in Sailor Moon, Angel in The Big O, Arashi in X/1999, as well as a lot of other anime including Ninja Scroll, the new Appleseed movie, Gunparade March, and Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust. She seems to have survived the evil curse and gone on to much success. That Appleseed movie is coming out in the USA later this year and it looks AMAZINGLY animated.

    Judith Hoag -
    She played April in the first movie and appears to have just done TV show cameos and bad movies since then. Good luck with your career! She was also a character named Denise in Armagedon. Yay?

    Paige Turco -
    She played April in the second and third live action movies. She was on NYPD Blue, Party of Five, and other small tv shows for a while. She does not seem to do too much stuff. I guess she is CURSED. CURSED.

    Who played April in "The Next Mutation" live action tv series?
    I don't know. Nor do I care. That one was crap. Peter Laird must have been REAAAAALLLLY hitting the Mutagen to allow that one. As I searched for research on this article, I some how ended up on a page about 1980's bad movies. In particular: Critters. Well, there would be a good cross-over! CRITTERS VS TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES! I mean, they're making a Freddy VS Jason VS Ash movie. Why not? Oh oh! Donny Darko VS The Ninja Turtles! Or we could get a drunken beat-down where the heroic quad just beats Howard the Duck into something unrecognizable! Ah, the joy! Speaking of drunk turtles, considering that O'Neill seems to be an Irish name, why doesn't April exude any of the common sterotypes? How cutting edge!

    Oh, it's almost over and now I have to hook you into viewing the second part. So, here goes: "Does she know that her door was unlocked?" Well, I'll just nab a few sodas from her fridge and wait. Waiting.. THE WAITING!

    -Interview by Philip Wesley for DMG Ice ONLY-
    -Critters VS Leprechaun! YES! IT MUST BE MADE!-
    -Property of