Restoration: "The Scariest moments in Game Boy History."
-By Philip "Pocket Squirrel" Wesley, John "Jazzman" Craig, and Adam "Adrock" Pearson-
-This was originally posted around 10.31.1999.-
-Rescued, Restored, and Posted 03/02/2006-

Originally part of a DMG Dispatch update, these lists were lost in the qaugmire of our old library; but I have dug them up and now you have to read them. The DMG Dispatch was the name of the DMG Ice NEWSLETTER that actually had it's own exclusive content as well as rehashing news items from the site. Will the DMG Dispatch appear again in the future? Who knows. Maybe we will get Radio DMG before that? The world is quiet here, and that silence is pure gold.

That said, here are the three lists
that made up that update, presented in their original bad grammar, bad spelling, and flavor.

Philip's LIST! See the other lists.. on the Dispatch.. later.. bwa ha ha!
Can Game Boy scare you? Yes.. it can scare you and creep you out sometimes as well. Here are ten of the scariest and/or creepiest moments in Game Boy games. This is a countdown and it contains spoilers. Beware. 

10. The fight with Red Falcon - Contra: The Alien Wars by Factor 5/Konami
While not really "scary" the size of this vicious jerk.. and the amount of shots it takes to kill him make the fight with this creep a bit scary. Why? Because of his attacks. You have a limited amount of lives and must be in perpetual motion at all times to avoid the waves of fire he spits out. Also avoid this things arms. Definately avoid the arms. It takes up about 80% of the screen and that gives you limited space to move. This makes it a nasty villian; because he's so hard. Not to mention how UGLY this thing is. And the fight is pretty tense. After all, this is Contra; not something easy like "Metal Slug". 

9. Clipping - R-Type DX by Nintendo
While not a real villian, the clipping in levels 10 in DX and 4 in R-Type 2 will scare you. You will be filled with hate and dread of those levels. The levels boss isn't impossible; but it is close to impossible. The clipping will make you mad, challenge you, taunt you, and in the end.. you'll dream about it. You will. 

8. The Qix - Qix by Nintendo
It's just a few lines; but it can scare you because it is unpredictable. It's also stuck in a VERY addicting game. The Qix moves about and tries to get you to mess up; so you won't section off 75% or more of it's play area. Those lines are vicious! Oh no! It changed direction! 

7. Meeting Dark Matter - Kirby's Dream Land 2 by Nintendo
Why is Dark Matter here? Dark Matter is here; because Dark Matter is disturbing. Kracko almost made it here with his eyeball bit. but, seeing Dark Matter emerge from inside King Deedeedee makes Dark Matter disturbing and as a bonus; it also becomes an eyeball. 

6. Seeing that $%@#&! robot - Fortified Zone by Jaleco
In level 4 there is an annoying, and frightening little mofo that reverses your controls in some rooms. This wouldn't be so bad.. but the little dork decided that it wants to be in a room with narrow passages and large holes in the floor. Grrr. You'll learn to be afraid of these things. 

5. Omega Metroids - Metroid 2: The Return of Samus by Nintendo
Why are they on this list? Well.. they are creepy as Hell. An Omega Metroid is about twice the size of Samus Aran. It takes about 75 missiles to destroy. It sits motionless, looking creepy until you get close to it. It screams in a disturbing, primal, anguished way. They are quick and follow you with a relentless passion. They can always be found in groups. When you see one; then you know that the other 8 or 9 Omega Metroids are somewhere close. And to make matters worse for you; they sometimes blend in with their surroundings. If you have ever fought one then you know what I mean. They continue to be scary for the next few battles.. but soon become just plain creepy and nasty. It usually takes almost ten minutes to kill one of these freaks. 

4. The first cut-scene in Quest for Camelot - Quest for Camelot by Nintendo
If you have seen this scene.. you will be frightened. It is a picture of "Kayley" jumping into her father's arms... and it looks bad.. it looks disturbed.. it is.. well.. pretty damn scary. 

3. Conker's Noggin - Conker's Pocket Tales by Rare
If you have ever stuck this game in a Super Game Boy or normal Game Boy... then you know about the freaky title screen. It says "Push start" and has a HUGE blow-up of Conker's noggin. Complete with moving eyes that watch a butterfly flutter around the room. 

2. Microwave's face - Great Greed by Namco
I know that Microwave is a bit old.. but.. she is creepy looking! I mean it. Just the way she looks in her close-up is enough to render someone senseless for a few minutes. (And her picture can instantly kill any "randiness" that lives in, well, anyone.) 

1. "New Game, Options" - Pokémon Red, Blue, Yellow by Nintendo/Game Freak
You have caught all 150 pokémon? Cool. You have the world's most unbeatable team? That's cool too. Oh, look! When you turned on the power; somehow, your game save data has been ERASED! No "Continue".. just New Game and Options. And.. you're sad. Why? Because your game is GONE. History, adios! With the invention of Interact's "Mega Memory Card"; the bite of this evil has been snuffed a bit. But those without one of Interact's devices still live in fear and dread that one day... they will turn on their Game Boy and their game save data won't be there. 

Those are the 10 scariest moments in Game Boy history in my opinon. Beware... bwa ha ha! 

Philip Wesley 1999

John's LIST!
The world's most popular system ever is bound to have a dark side. Here's a list of even more of the things to watch out for.
Fear them.

10. Alien bosses - R-Type DX by Nintendo/Bit Studios
It hard to put something that looks freaky on a small Gameboy screen, but the take a good look some of the bosses on R-Type DX to see the influence of HR Giger's (the Alien series, Species) art. Nice.

9. Your face in Perfect Dark - Gameboy Camera, Perfect Dark by Nintendo and Rare
You know this is going to be freaky. No, I didn't just put a bullet in an a German's head... I just put a bullet in my brother's head.
I bet the parents are just going to love that.

8. Link's Equipment - Link's Awakening by Nintendo
Link's stuff isn't that scary. It's where he could possibly keep it all that makes me shudder. "Oh sure, I'll just pull out this shovel I happen to keep right here next to my bow and hookshot."

7. Magicarp
Nuff said.

6. Passwords - Mega Man by Capcom
Original doesn't always mean better. Mega Man's passwords are a pain to write down, and a pain to enter. Just get some dang save slots, or simple number passwords!

5. Angry chickens - Link's Awakening by Nintendo
Alfred Hichcock's twisted contingency becomes reality if you take out your aggressions on an unsuspecting foul. Dear God, if this ever happened to me in real life...

4. Realizing the ending of Link's Awakening - Link's Awakening by Nintendo (DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED THE GAME YET)
This is more "sad" then scary, but what other game gets you emotionally attached to an entire world...  and then destroys it in front of you.
You've got to be shallow if this didn't make you think the first time you saw it.

3. The Hammer Bros - The Super Mario Bros DX by Nintendo
Yeah, so? What's so scary about the Hammer Bros? There's something special about the Hammer Bros in Super Mario Bros, and that is:
When you fight them.... you know you're going to die.
There's no "I might get them this time." It's just "Oh my God, they're going to kill me."
Be honest, whenever you're lucky enough to get a clearing right below the hammer brother's platform, don't you just forget it all and run like hell?
You know you do.

2. Blue Virii - Dr. Mario by Nintendo
Oh God!
They're everywhere! There's so many of them! No!
Make them go away!!!

1. Low Damage Warning - Metroid II: Return of Samus
Quite possibly the most annoying thing in any Gameboy game, ever.
Never before have I so quickly turned down the volume on my Gameboy. It's either that, or jumping into the deadly lava of SR388 to silence the infernal beeping. If you've got a bad habit of letting Samus's armor get low, make sure you stretch out that index finger before playing.

John Craig 1999

Scariest Game Boy Moments
By Adrock
1. Playing Metroid II in the dark on my Super GB.
2. When my Pokémon save file got erased for the first time.
3. When I dropped my original DMG model Game Boy, and it got these
huge lines that went across the game screen. (So I bought a Green GB when the Play it Loud series came out.)
4. When someone decided to color with crayons on my DMG Model Game Boy.
5. When I played Mortal Kombat for GB in church for at least 2 hours straight... out of pure boredom.
6. When my batteries started leaking battery acid into my DMG Model Game Boy.
7. My first "Worm Light Experience" in pitch darkness.
8. Having Nightmares about Resident Evil for Game Boy Color.
9. Two words: "Home Alone".
10. Two more words: "Pit Fighter".

-Property of