Sarah Speaks Up
Playing a Barb Doth Not Make One a Lesbian!
-By Queen Sarah Tomase-
-Presented by DMG
-Brought to you by PURE BARBARISM!-
-Presented 04/13/2005-

Countless times have I, playing Diablo II: Lord of Destruction on Battle.Net, as a Barbarian as my character, been referred to as a man.  Whenever I would correct these people, I would no doubt encounter at least one person “shouting”: “OMG NO UR NOT WTF U LEZBAIN!” Seriously guys, what the hell?  So I like swinging two axes at a time (no that is not a euphemism!), that doesn’t mean I have to be butch.

With that I’d like to say, despite the minor annoyances, I loved that game.  I must have played it through a dozen times and created two dozen characters.  I would obsess about how long my sword was.  I mean . . . I was always trying to better my equipment.  What I could do with a mult-socketted item.  Those things were the best. Whoever it is who designed that I would like to shake their hand. 

In my nostalgic mood today, I couldn’t resist reinstalling Diablo II and playing around while I should have been doing school stuff.  Ivan has two long swords . . . and now I’m sure you’re all expecting me to say something about a morning star being handled by a large breasted woman. Sickos.

Anyway, playing games is fun! Like this one! They are full of happiness and joy. Go there and play wonderfully addictive short games. For free!

How I love PC games. And it all started with reader rabbit on the Apple 2e. Too think, now I play games like Unreal Tournament 2004 on my Dell Inspiron 9100 with its pretty, pretty, pretty ATI Mobility Radeon 9700 graphics card of doom. Glorious gaming.

However, I feel the urge to write Bill Gates an email of complaint.

Dear Mr. Gates:
Windows XP has a flaw. And we have noticed.
As you are well aware, we love Windows XP and its lack of the blue screen of death. However, many of us PC gamers out there are frustrated. As revolutionary as Windows 95 was, we could play DOS games on it, and we loved it. With XP, you have taken that very right from us. That joy. Games we spent hours playing. Those games were enjoyable. But we cannot play Castle of the Winds of Theme Park or any DOS-run game on our too up-to-date computers.  It feels as though it is a sin to own such great systems when we can’t go back and reminisce of games past. Nostalgia exists. Let us feed that hunger..

Sarah Tomase

-Editorial by Sarah Tomase-
-Property of

I think Sarah is surprised I don't change the hidden text. Oh, how sexy!