Perfect Dark Game by Rare Reviewed by The Avardancer (Philip Wesley) Size: 32 megabits Save: batteries Released: 2000 Works with: Game Boy Color ONLY! **************************************************************************** Opening Snide Remarks: To be honest, I had played this game at E3 and I thought it sucked... a lot. Anyways, now that's it's finally out of testing and on store shelves -unless they weren't supposed to sell it to me-; I will run it through the review procedure. Okay, Joanna... you better have shaped up. Or we're shipping you out of the Institute. **************************************************************************** Gameplay Descripion: It's dull. It's very dull. She's Perfect. Perfect Dull. That's how I can sum up this game. Dull. Especially if you compare it to a certain pair of other agents on Game Boy. I think you know who I am refering to. The game has two modes of play, really. Multi-player and Single Player. Multi-player is a hodgepodge of gameplay modes and, like the Multi-player in Metal Gear Solid, it's entertaining. The single player mode however is not. The game throws together a lot of mini-games that are reasonably fun; save for a few which are obnoxiously tedious. No really. The mini-games emulate a ton of old games like Simon, Operation Wolf, and Spy Hunter. Aside from the thrown in mini-games, is a poorly done single player game. I think it wants you to use "stealth" which means, walking behind the enemy and pushing A. Big whoop. Joanna moves VERY slowly and if you tap twice (Ala Conker) on the control pad, she runs and sounds like a horse; thus ruining the stealth of the game. There are no various levels of difficulty like the N64 Perfect Dark and your objectives are usually "Find the Key" games. Now, in games like Tomb Raider or an action RPG. It's not a problem. Those are exploration style games. In Perfect Dark you have absolutely zero interaction with your enviroment. I can not go in the downed truck, I can't crawl, I can't put down my gun and punch an enemy if I want to. I can't do a LOT of things in this game. It tries to use every Game Boy feature. It rumbles in a subtle and pathetic manner, it uses the infra-red port to exchange.. stuff. It also uses the game link cable and let's you print out ugly people with the Game Boy Printer. It uses Voice. It uses FMV and the high color mode in a few places. It also uses the Transfer Pak, so you can open up a few new cheats in Perfect Dark for the N64. The enemies are stupid as something really stupid. I mean, I killed one right next to one standing gaurd. The guy yells: "Medic!" and the guy standing gaurd does nothing. So, I walk over and shoot him in the head. The artificial intelligence program must have been programmed by dead sea monkies using an Amiga. The game has some nice guns, I guess. Once you get the shotgun, you can screw stealth. You don't need it then. Oh, you can shoot through some walls. With ANY of the guns. It is challenging in spots; because of the less than accurate shooting controls. It has a story; albeit a weak one. And if you checked out the comic in the Nintendo Perfect Dark guide, you'll find the story presented in a more interesting way. The "variety: in the game seems VERY forced. I'm sitting here playing, wondering WHY I Liked: It unlocks a few tough to get secrets in Perfect Dark for the N64. Hated: Pretty much the whole thing. Even the story line was weak. **************************************************************************** Graphics Description: Joanna is a bow-legged sprite that looks like it was modeled after Solid Snake. Her close-up picture is hideously aged. The backgrounds are also dull. There is some blood in the game. When you shoot an enemy, blood flies out. It don't stay. Too bad. You have to "search" enemy bodies for stuff and that results in an ugly close-up of a dead male torso. There is some bad FMV in the game as well. What happened to the sprites in Resident Evil for Game Boy Color after it was canceled? They came here and set up a living. Yes, Joanna looks like a man. A man with very tight pants. That's why he walks funny. Anyways, the game has no slowdown problems and keeps up at a steady pace.. although Joanna walks slower than that guy in the Mission Impossible game. Liked: Hey, blood. Now, that's not entirely original; but for once, it's the most decent effect here. Hated: It's ripshoddingly done..... **************************************************************************** Sound/Music Description: Some amazingly clear voice during the ugly cut scenes. But in game, you're subjected to no music. (In an ACTION SHOOTING game?! The HELL?) And the voices are garbled and oddly sexual. No really. I mean it. "Ugh! Ungh! Uhh! Ohh!" That's a fire fight between Joanna and a Gaurd. It usually ends with him yelling in a garbled drunken voice a word that is probably an explictive; but sounds a lot like: "Medic!" as he falls to the ground. When Joanna dies, she uses that sound that Fulgore makes in Killer Instinct for the Super Nintendo. You know, the squealing piggy noise. There is some music and it's very forgetable. Liked: Some long speeches in the ugly cutscenes. Makes me wonder a bit on how Metal Gear Solid would have turned out, had it been on a larger cartridge. Hated: But other than the voice acting in the ugly cut-scenes.. it sucks. Pure and simple. Stinky. **************************************************************************** Play Control/Game Design: How to make a stealth game... umm.. has anyone at Rare actually PLAYED Tenchu or Metal Gear Solid? They should have modeled the single player mode off of those and at least put in a DECENT fragging two player mode. *sighs* Oh, well. Play Control is akward as well.. Liked: Nothing. Hated: You know.. **************************************************************************** Improve: Look at Metal Gear Solid for Game Boy Color. Look at this game as it is. See Metal Gear Solid? THAT'S what you want to do. Ditch the voice if you can use that space to make a better game. RIYL: Ummm.. Mission: Impossible? **************************************************************************** Final Words: Well, it's brand new.. so I can get a good price for it. Oh, I like the all-guns cheat. And Zero Tau Entropic Decay does.. nothing in the game. :( **************************************************************************** Score Gameplay: * Graphics: ** Sound/Music: *** Play Control/Game Design: 0 Personal Opinion: 0 Total: 6 out of 25 Final Score: 24% **************************************************************************** Currently Known Codes: None I care about.