Godzilla Game by Toho Co., Ltd. Reviewed by John Craig john@dmgice.com Save: password Released: 1990 Works with: all Gameboys **************************************************************************** Opening Snide Remarks: Since there is a new Godzilla game in the works I thought I might review this old game I got a looong time ago. **************************************************************************** Gameplay Description: I find that there are two ways to analyze this game: as a game you play in your Gameboy......and as a coaster. If you put it in a Gameboy, Toho tried to make a game that incorporates action and puzzle elements. Unfortunately they failed miserably. I mean, this is no ordinary failure. This is like when you play SMB, and die at a certain spot, and promise yourself that you wont die there again, and somehow manage to die at that exact same spot 20 times. Or like when you seem to manage to fall off every cliff in Shadows of the Empire, or buying Dual Heroes, or being a Kamikaze pilot and missing. Were talking major failure here. I bet when Toho (what the hell kind of name is that?) shipped this thing out they sighed and said "Oh well, better luck next time." The story is that Godzillas son Manila gets captured, and Godzilla has to go through a hundred levels to find him. To finish each level, Godzilla must break all the rocks in the level. Thats right kids, it makes no sense!!! Godzilla is slow and he cant even breathe fire. He can only punch. HE CAN ONLY PUNCH!!! The rocks arent easy to break, its a puzzle game, like CatTrap, only there are a lot of annoying enemies trying to kill Godzilla along the way. As a coaster the cartridge fails too, I find that the pak isnt nearly large enough for most of my cups, and it isnt very good at collecting the sweat from the glass. I usually end up with a square water mark. You can probably find better coasters for a lot less money. Liked: It provided a tough challenge Hated: everything I can possibly think of that wasnt mentioned in the "Liked" section. The water mark on my table. **************************************************************************** Graphics Description: Godzilla doesnt look like Godzilla. Godzilla looks like a clone that is one-eighth Godzillas size named "Mini-Z". Godzillas fist looks stupid, and is about the size of his entire body when he lets the sucker fly. Liked: The title screen Hated: everything after that. Come to think of it, I didnt even like the title screen, nevermind. **************************************************************************** Sound/Music Description: The sound effects are rancid, especially as your being damaged by an enemy. There are no "beeps" in this game. No, they are better described as "whines". The music is unbearably cute, strait from the tellitubies. For Gods sake, its Godzilla!!! Liked: nothing Hated: everything **************************************************************************** Play Control/Game Design: Fortunately, the play control can be easily made better by placing your Godzilla cartridge in your microwave oven on HI for 5 to 10 minutes. Liked: Serving with a tartar sauce Hated: Be careful not to batter your Godzilla cartridge too heavily or it will scald in the oven. **************************************************************************** Improve: Its actually very fortunate that this game is so horrid, it is an example to whomever is making this next Godzilla game of what not to do. RIYL (Recommended If You Like): Drinking orange juice directly after brushing your teeth, bleeding profusely from the eyes, nose and mouth, Jar Jar Binks, Furby, a good solid kick to the head. **************************************************************************** Final Words: If you find this game for cheap, run in terror. If you friend offers it to you for free, just say no. If your friend puts a gun to your head and tells you that you can either take it, or pay him 20 bucks, pay him. **************************************************************************** Score Gameplay: Graphics: Sound/Music: Play Control/Game Design: * Personal Opinion: -1 Total: 0 Final Score: 0% **************************************************************************** Currently Known Codes: Yeah, I could give you passwords... but I won't. Pssh.