Philip gets Grandia 2. Runs away.
Let's see.. I got Grandia 2 for Dreamcast and Princess Monomoke on DVD.. so.. umm.. instead of doing a Viral Speak.. I'll umm.. go play those instead and do a VS on Monday. ^_^ What? You want content? Hmm.. Adam did a preview of Broken Sword! Woo Hoo! Read! And Yak did an UPDATE or something for Hardware. -PAW-
Sock Monkey sits there silently thinking Sock Monkey thoughts.
 

We love you two days straight!
Well, here's the deal! The date says June 1st and 2nd; so I'll put up news and reviews today (Friday) and then Viral Speak later today! So, it'll be "Saturday". Okay? Not Okay? Oh, well! Just take it and eat it! It is yummy!! And.. I grabbed random people off AIM again to comment. -PAW-

Hbomb: Um, ok. I'm confused.
Viral B: Mmm... VIRII(TM)!!
PTT: This better not turn into that 'Fraturday' crap Kids WB is trying to program in our heads...
Philip: Think Fraturday.. with.. risque hazing. He he he.
 

Squishy is a way to be.
Okay, lots of positive reactions to Squishy and Rayboy! Soo.. send in your ideas for Squishy's NEXT adventures! Go on! Do it! Yeah! -PAW-

Hbomb: Yes, but what everyone forgets is that both Squishy and Rayboy have appeared in The DMG Files.
Philip: ......
Hbomb: Um, when are you going to update the Snowflake.
Philip: ......
Hbomb fixes Philip's laptop using duct tape.
PTT: I met Squishy at E3! He's Squishariffic! ^o^
Philip: And people wonder why I supported Missouri's Proposition B so long ago.
 
 

Put her in my pocket.
Oh, yes. Nintendo of Australia and EA.. have listed a The Sims Advance. Okay. That was read correctly. The SIMS for Game Boy Advance. I suppose it works with the GCube version that hasn't been announced yet? I'm looking forward to carrying my staff in my pocket. I can make horrible things happen to my Sims! Okay, so it's an old game.. but look at THPS2 and notice that it can definately be done. Now you can make lesbians in your pocket or something. Or recreate DMG Ice as it could be! Relive all your favorite fights! Burn Jazz alive in the kitchen! Make Ice Blue make out with Adam! (Or don't.. please don't.) Put together a posh harem for Philip! YAY! Didn't like someone in the UBB? Make them in the Sims and then kill them off! All in wonderful wholesome "T" rated fun! I can hardly wait! Just raise your Philip correctly! -PAW-

Hbomb duct tapes Ice Blue and Akemi together.
Simmy B: Mmm... SIMMY(TM)!!
Hbomb: Um, ok, that's getting old.
PTT: Do whatever you want to your staff, just don't ask me to sit on it, mmkay? ;P
Philip: I always use the money cheat in that game.. gotta build a biiig house.. so I can have Philip philander about without getting caught! Too bad it probably won't support skins.. imagine.. Ryoko in my pocket! I love The Sims.. I was playing around with it before my laptop was sent away.. ever wanted to see Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera make out? well.. the computer game let me force them to do that. hahaha. I made the most wonderful house the other day. I love elaborate floor plans. I thought it was funny.. lighting the rooms with menorahs and lava lamps.
 
 

Glory of the Pikmin.
Just a rumour really; but Pikmin may end up on GBA as well. Imagine the GLORY of your Pikmin as they attack and viciously STAB evil ladybug like creatures on the go! Pretend that the Red, Blue, and Yellow Pikmin are your own DMG Ice Virii! Yes! Glory to the Pikmin! Honor of the Pikmin! Epic of the Pikmin! BEHOLD the Pikmin! YAY! -PAW-

Hbomb can't think of anything, so he duct tapes a pair of pants on to Infinity Yak.
PTT: Lali Ho!
Philip: Go my Pikmin; because someone set us up the bomb.
 
 

Take ahold of your mouse.
And click onto our Reviews page for three new reviews. More later in the day.. or on Tuesday. Good.. yes.. you like? -PAW-

Hbomb: It's duct tape-erific.
PTT: 79 ducts were mercilessly slaughtered for your comments tonight... I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY! *sniff*
Philip: Mindless slaughter. So very fun.. right my Pikmin?
Pikmin: .......
Chu Chu Mice: CHU!
Philip: I think it's a tad crowded in here...
Sock Monkey sits there silently thinking Sock Monkey thoughts.
 

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Short Muse
Where's my Tenchi GBA?

Jynx got some big lips. Fun.

Phil hits the Rehash.
Again with the tired.. okay.. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon came out on DVD today. Yeah. Sooo.. I was a bit distracted,, but I pulled off a Viral Speak AND added a new random victim from AIM to add comments on those games. Also, I've been playing around with lights. The best light you can buy right now. so far.. is the Pelican Light Shield Advance. Golden Sun is set to debut here in October. Oh, milk has essential vitamins and minerals. Game Boy Advance does not. So don't drink your Game Boy Advance.. it is many things.. but Thirst-Quenching is not one of them. -PAW

PTT: Blasphemy! I require utter and total thirst-quenching potential from -MY- handheld systems! >:D 
Philip: Again with the random people!

Philip tired.. .
Philip be tired.. so.. no reviews or Viral Speak tonight.. BUT! Here's some LOOOOOOOONG news. A lot of games "officially" ship this week and we'll comment on ALL of them! Here you go.

For Game Boy Color
1. Antz Racing
Foxlord: No I don't wanna play dat.
Philip: I grabbed him off AIM again.. bwa ha ha! I will force him to play with Z!
PTT:Another Sucky movie, another sucky licensee game, whaddayagonnado?
Evil Philip: A Massacre..

2. Disney's Atlantis
Foxlord: Oh Goody, another Cliche' platformer, looks very nice though.
Philip: Watch it sink...
PTT: *Sigh* two in one day...
Evil Philip: That's all?

For Game Boy Advance
1. Army Men Advance
Adam (Adrock): Hopefully we won't see many more Army Men games on GBA.
Foxlord: Oh Come on GIVE IT A REST!!!
Philip: Vroom Vroom Vicki! Hehehe
PTT:With quality games like this, it's only natural 3DO's telling Microsoft how to market Xbox! *coughcrapcough*
Evil Philip: Haveing failed in the past, 3DO has every right to tell Microsoft how to fail.

2. Castlevania: Circle of the Moon
Adam: a.k.a Symphony of the Night Pocket.
Foxlord wipes the drool offa his keyboard.
Philip: Most of the people I nab off AIM do that drooling thing a lot. I wonder why that is.
PTT: Maybe if you'd hit softer and stop drugging us... @_@
Evil Philip: But that's the best part!

3. Chu Chu Rocket
Philip: BWA HA HA...................................................... chu.
PTT: *Chants* save the mice....avoid the cats....save the mice....

4. Fire Pro Wrestling
Philip: Must resist Village People joke... 
PTT:Fear the flaming ones... <:O

5. GT Championship Racing
Philip: Almost Gran Tursimo..
PTT: Pickle!

6. Krazy Racers
Foxlord: Greyfox (Ninja) VS. Goemon in a GoKart?  Ok whatever, sure plays decent though.
Philip: Wai Wai Racing.. YO!
PTT: Lali! Worth a look!

 7. Namco Museum
Foxlord: They are classic Arcade games,  by Namco. That's a good thing :)
Philip: Dig Dug. Gotta Pump them all!
PTT: MMmMmMmM, Vintage, For PTT play! ^_^

8. Rayman 
Foxlord: To Quote Dee Dee from "Dexters Laboratory"  "Oooooh! Pretty!" 
Philip: Definately a Ting. You know?
PTT: um.... lali? o_O

9. Pinobee: The Quest for Heart
Philip: Ex Sonic Team members give us a robotic bee. Bee. hehehe 
PTT: I'm getting 'nam style flashbacks of Hudson Soft! AiIIie! The Dinos are after us again, Hudson! >_<

10. Pitfall: The Mayan Adventure
Philip: Harry, like his game, falls short a lot.
PTT: Green Stickman... *oldschool flashbackies* Beep Boop!
Evil Philip: Actually yours appears to be blue..

11. Super Dodge Ball Advance
Foxlord: Yes Yes Yes!! I Love you Atlus!! Now give us River City Ransom!!
Philip: Blargh!
PTT: NES old-schoolers still swear by this game, me included. You said it Foxlord! ^_^
Evil Philip: Although.. if you remember playing it.. you swear AT it.

12. Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2
Adam: This game proves that GBA music can rock, GBA music can roll.
Foxlord: Great, just what i need another Addiction!
Philip: Definately one of the least anticipated games for the new system. Sounds like a truly decent game. Wonder if it's a platformer!
PTT: Psh, you want a -REAL- skateboarder game, go play the NES classic 'Skate Or Die'!
Evil Philip: But since we don't have the game right here.. you'll just have to die. Have a nice day.

Well, that's the list and we comment on them all.. I'll have a better update for you a little later. I am working on a great project you'll like and.. I was busy with Xtreme Sports for the GBC so.. yeah. laters! -PAW-
 

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Short Muse
So many medals.. such little time.?

I heard that Cyndaquil is illegal in 43 of the 50 states. Yup..

Fresh from the rumor bin!
Yum, yum, eat it like you're dating it. Oh, I forgot we're Web G. But if you got it.. then you get it or something along that line. Lately rumours been flying high and mighty around the Wired! Here's the deal on those! I listed them individually so we can comment on them individually. Fresh rumors! Whoo Hoo!

1. A new untitled Goemon adventure game. (Supposedly two player and similar to the second N64 game.)
 

2. Earthbound: Special Advance Edition. (Supposedly the second game; with an added prelude near the beginning that is -essentially- the first game.)

Adrock: This would be so awesome. You need to buy this. I don't want to hear anyone yapping about graphics. Those are probably the same people yapping about Paper Mario. You NEED this game. The graphics are UNIQUE. And frankly, who cares about the graphics? The gameplay in this game is not to be overlooked, and the humor factor is way over par. One of the best RPG's ever made, hands down. Hopefully this isn't just a rumor.
M3wThr33: Mr. Saturn! Mr. Saturn! *Marches down the street chanting!*
 

3. River City Ransom (There's a petition for Atlus to do it. But, other companies are vying to do this too. So, this may come out!)

Adrock: Hmm.. this game could have been ported to GBC..? But anyways, for those who haven't heard of it or played it on the NES, this game is right up there on fun factor with the NES games Double Dragon or Mighty Final Fight. Maybe we could see an updated sequel for the consoles as well. 
M3wThr33: I can't wait for it. After playing Dodgeball Advance so much, RCR can only get better!
Philip: Yup.

4. Dracula X (America got stiffed with the Holy Watered down to Hell Super Nintendo version. I saw shots of one being made for the GBC.. but.. a third party outside of Konami is looking into getting permission to do Dracula X. Not the SNES version.. the original PC Engine version. Considering that we now have ratings. Castlevania: Circle of the Moon is rated T, the Game Boy Advance market is more MATURE then ever before. We may get it.)

Adrock: At last, handheld gaming breaks the stereotypical "kiddie" mold (that it never belonged in anyways.)
M3wThr33: Well, wasn't Perfect Dark "T"?
Philip: And didn't Perfect Dark SUCK?

5. Devil May Cry (Say wha? While, we are getting Resident Evil, and Dino Crisis.. umm.. yeah. Gotta love them wacky rumors!)

6. Gauntlet Advance (Hmmm..... people need game, badly! And the whole four player with one cartridge thing would work well with this.)

Adrock: Yeah. I'm sure Nintendo had this game in mind when making the 4P link possible.
M3wThr33: And it would also hook up with the GameCube, Dreamcast, PSX, and PS2 versions! We would call it SUPER Gauntlet Connecto-Version X. Or I could just settle for the GBA 4p.
Philip: Or we could just kill you.

7. An undisclosed port from Blizzard. (I've heard this one before.. and mentioned it before. Whether this is Warcraft, Starcraft, or Diablo makes no difference. all are good. All are extremely possible on GBA and -not a diss- judgeing from their graphics.. extremely easy to port.)

Adrock: *Looks at Diablo 2, looks at GBA*
M3wThr33: *Looks at Adrock smiling, looks at the Diablo 2 in his pants*
Philip: And to complete this subtle rip-off, I must say the word "Wang".

8. Fall Out Advance ( I cracked up over hearing this.. but.. yeah.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'd buy it.)

M3wThr33: LAUGHING? Fallout is pure gaming goodness. Take out the speech and animated faces and it would have a reasonable  cart size. I tried talking to the Arcanum people at E3 (The ORIGINAL makers of FO 1 & 2), but they ignored me.
Philip: It IS I was laughing at the idea of being able to take it with me on the go.. good laughing.

Those are the current rumours. YAY! -PAW-

Adrock: My brain cells are certainly stimulated. Ports are awesome... but still, I want to see some original games as well.
Philip: I know. I know.. O_o
 

It's the Prince of Handhelds..
Once again. Now.. I'm going announce a new game for the Game Boy Advance! Wait for it... Next Article on DMG Ice, I will announce a new game for the Game Boy Advance! -PAW-
Philip: Better wait for it...
 

New Game for Game Boy Advance!
Powering up to tell you this once again! That a new game from Infogrames is coming out for Game Boy Advance. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Next Article on DMG Ice: The New Game is revealed! -PAW-

M3wThr33: *Stares at Phil with open eyes, as Phil rises 6 inches off the ground*
 

Might New Game be Revealed!
The new game features Cartoon Network's prize jewel and by far the worst waster of episode time ever! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! It comes out later this year early next year! Next Article on DMG Ice: The name is revealed! -PAW-

M3wThr33: The cackling is starting to bother me. *Runs away into a corner*
 

The Game Name Revealed!
It's Dragon Ball Z: Legacy of Goku or something badly translated and butchered to Hell like that! It will contain ZERO Fan Service! Zero Intrigue! It will hit all the BAD Anime Cliches! But AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Everyone will think it's amazing! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! -PAW-

Adrock: Legacy of Goku consists of "When is Goku going to get here?", "Goku is finally here!", and "Goku is leaving!", in that order, then repeat.
M3wThr33: I think I saw this show once. They spent 10 minutes going over last episode, 5 minutes of commercials, and 10 minutes going over the next. I think the 5 minutes left was a bunch of half naked guys grunting heavily in a vast desert.
Philip: I thought I got rid of that channel.. BAD M3thr33!
 

You deserve it.
Philip is bad. Very, very bad. BUT! He reviewed the Game Boy Advance and will review several lights for it tommorrow as well as start his reviews on the games he has.. he already has Castlevania: Circle of the Moon (Awesome!), F-Zero (An Import and hard! Great!), and Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 (Heh. Decent. Only slightly above perfect). And there you have it! Click HERE to go to the reviews! Whoo Hoo! -PAW-

Adrock: Shh.. news on the street is, the Pelican Light is the best one you can get right now.
M3wThr33: Or the top-secret one: The Bug Zapper GBA. For all y'all people down in the South!
Philip: The Pelican one works the best.. until it pops.. *sighs*

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Short Muse
California's energy crisis.. is my fault.. after paying a DOLLAR for a CAN of Soda.. I just took all the electricity with me when I left.

Actually the energy crisis started when the Manager started fondling the Voltorbs...

BAM! on the door, baby!
Or rather on the Broken Sword. BAM!, the makers of countless evil Cartoon Network games has announced that they will publish Broken Sword: Shadow of the Templars. We have a preview of Broken Sword in our previews. Yup. We will see it around early 2002. Not too shabby! -PAW-

Ice Blue: I've played that... it's pretty fun ON THE PC.  Nico was one sexy photographer.  I'd buy that for a dollar.
Adrock: You can't really call it a point-and-click game in the conversion to handheld.. so what is it?
Greyleaf: Looks pretty good I guess.
Philip: If it paves the way for The Incredible Journey.. I'm all for it.
 

GT Advance problems?
Well, THQ replaced the battery with a long password. Now, if you're a REAL game player a few passwords shouldn't be too big a deal for you. You probably already have a black book for them. But, hey. A lot of people have troubles with passwords. We know.. poor casual gamers. Anyways, if you want to import a copy of GT Advance. Sure go for it. The import has a better box, nicer instructions and the game is in English. Yup.   -PAW-

Ice Blue: Import?  Good thing I live in California... and not some mid-eastern US state... ahem.
Adrock: I love Kansas. I rep the midwest just like St. Lunatics.
Greyleaf: Tennessee, Tennessee, there's a living piece of history still alive today in Tennessee.
Philip: I'm going to say something mean about California now. It's a wonderful place to leave.
 

Game Boy Advance? HA!
If you miss getting one this next week. Don't fret! Save some money for the 28th! Why? Because Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare is coming out on that day! Check out our preview of it! It's actually better looking then many GBA games. Odd enough. Well, you should check it out! -PAW-

Ice Blue: I'm a broke little boy... donate to the Eye Sploo fund.
Adrock: I ain't donate to you no how. Jazz might give you a buck though.
Greyleaf: Actually, you can make quite a bit begging, true life examples are those people who always forget their lunch money and are going to pay you back tomorrow.
Philip: Speaking of begging.. why not put TAX DEDUCTABLE offerings into our Amazon money raiseing thingy.
 

Just am excuse to be lazy!
Note the two dates up above? Yeah.. I need to clock in some more Castlevania time, and figure out something with the lights... so.. yeah.. wait for reviews. Sorry, and Viral Speak is like.. yeah.. I'll get it out there too... but right now.. I need to level up a little to kill the Iron Golem. -PAW-

Ice Blue: 2 dates above?
Ice Blue breaks out the cologne then realises it's not THAT kind of date.
Ice Blue: Damn...
Adrock: Running this gaming site comes second to the games themselves. Come on people, we're gamers, not human. 
Greyleaf: All work and no play makes Philip a very dull boy. However, about the right amount of each leaves people demanding more work.
Philip: Too bad, Ice Blue.. that would have been your first date in years.
 
 

Hey, I'm working.
And I'll give you a sneak peek at what I am planning. Look! An exerpt from an upcoming special! Ooo! Just so you know I'm working. The special is "The Top 100 moments in Game Boy Color history!" here's #82 so you can get an idea of what I mean.
"#82. Survival Kids "Wild..." (Konami) - Survival Kids, like Metal Gear Solid, is littered with memorable moments as well. One of my favorites is the line your character (Adam or Mery) has after they enter the jungle for the very first time. "Wild.. there are trees everywhere!" That's the line. I think it's hilarious! I mean.. what were they expecting? Cake? But still, that's one of the lighter moments in a rather heavy, thematic game. I would like to take this moment to say that Survival Kids is brilliant. Survival Kids is one of the best games I have ever played.A worthy addition. But that moment makes this list because it is humorous and sticks in my mind. Yup!"
There you go! A taste of a FANTASTIC list. He he he. -PAW-

Ice Blue: Blah blah blah. (I'm tired... sue me.)
Adrock: My spinoff, Top 100 moments in Atari Lynx history, was postponed due to the fact that I could only think of 3 or 4 moments.
Greyleaf: Maybe you should give "Top 100 Plays in XFL History" a go.
Philip: Or the Top 100 things I like about shoes.

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Short Muse
How goes the Vampire Slaying?

If a cat is red meat, and a fish is white meat.. what does that make Vaporeon..

Yearning for Chaos.
Hmm.. let's see.. what comes out this week? I'm thinking. Hmm.. Blink 182's new album... and Carson Daly is back on TRL. Yup. Oh, that Tomb Raider Movie, and Atlantis. Hmm.. doesn't seem to be anything important this week. Oh, wait! I know.. you'll probably want to know about that new handheld thingy, the Game Boy Advance or something like that. Well, here is what is shipping for this week in the Game Boy world.

For Game Boy Color

1. Razor Scooter (Crave): Get your Scoot on!

2. Roswell Conspiracies (Red Storm): Contains none of your daily recommended dose of Dido.

For Game Boy Advance

1. F-Zero: Maximum Velocity (Nintendo): Not exactly STUN Runner.. but it'll do.

2. Super Dodge Ball Advance (Atlus): Balls to the Wall on GBA!

3. Super Mario Advance (Nintendo): Veggies and sewers.. yeah.

4. The Game boy Advance itself (Nintendo): Gee.. why would ANYONE want that?

Well, seems fairly busy enough. Yup! Should be a relatively decent week. -PAW-

Jazz: So keep an eye out for Carson Daly listening to Blink while playing a GBA at a showing of Tomb Raider.
Adam: Watch out for my fist in Carson's face while turning off the radio while GBA and flaming arse.
Ice Blue: Atlantis... meet the Atlantis.
Philip: I just realized something.. my staff members aren't funny. Except for you Sock Monkey.. you are hilarious.
Sock Monkey sits there silently thinking Sock Monkey thoughts.
 

A State of Emulation.
I know you've been dieing to hear about my opinion on the new GBA emulators. I think it's a tad silly use them to play commercial roms. (Or rather.. BIN files.) Anyhow, if you're a developer or a aspiring one.. pick some up. They aren't exactly accurate or fast right now; but sooner or later, they'll be as good as Nintendo's Dev kits. Yeah. -PAW-

Jazz: Oh my God. I had a really funny comment to put right here. But I'm too damn tired right now. But it really was funny. Trust me.
Adam: Hide your hard drives. It's the BIN police.
Ice Blue: Emulators are for lamers.
Ice Blue hides his ROMs and emulators.
Philip: But if you put a dollar in your floppy drive, it'll be all legal.
 

I'm a COP OUT.
Instead of getting a Viral Speak done.. I was a BAD PERSON and just did some reviews for the GBA. Look! Castlevania: Circle of the Moon, and Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2. I'm such a naughty person. Oh, well. -PAW-

Jazz: NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY BOY! You deserve a SPANKING!
Adam: Philip was pretty hard on THPS2.... HAHA! I just said har... um, yep.
Ice Blue: Next Gen gave THPS2 and Castlevania 4 stars... the other games got lower.  I think Rayman got 4.  In other words... I feel like giving people useless information.
Philip: Next Gen also said the Game Cube was unimpressive. Next Gen just plain IS useless.

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Short Muse
I'll have my Camilla deep fried. Mmm..

In Super Smash Brothers, Misty is in the Gallery.. rotate Misty, rotate Misty....

Sorry about that!
Well, I didn't update yesterday. BUT! I have your Viral Speak and an unprecedented review of Super Mario Advance! YAY! Got a lot of new reviews to weed through, so lots of reviews.. yeah! Whoo Hoo! Oh to answer everyones question. So far, the Pelican Light Shield is the best GBA light I have tested. Okay. There we go. -PAW-
Foxlord: Yes.. you forgot to review yesterday...I'll go get the Ducttape and the hot Clam Chowder...Hopefully that'll teach ya a lesson.
Philip: I gotta stop getting these weird people off AIM. O_o
 
 

Phantasy Ranch Star Advance
Well, Sega told Gamespot that they had "no comment" on a rumored Phantasy Star port for the Game Boy Advance. You and I know it's being made. All we need to do is wait for Space World in August, so Sega will admit it is being made. Yup! Just thought I would say. I'm looking forward to it, and Sega Smash Pack. Definately. I will aslo admit that I didn't update yesterday; because I was on Phantasy Star Online. I am almost level 100 with my normal character.. and I started a another character.. so I have four characters I play as. Oh, yeah.. they are all based on anime characters. Dorothy from Big O, Lum from "Those Obnoxious Aliens" and Emily Laine from "Weak Link". I play them in character.. so.. yeah. Anyhow, that's why I didn't update yesterday! -PAW-
Foxlord: Smash Pack will be great if they can put a Shining Force or two in it.. hopefully much better then the DC Smash Pack.  Philip, you should make characters From Tenchi in PSO!!
Philip: Hmm....
Rag Pappy stands there stareing at Philip thinking Rag Pappy thoughts.
 

Blockbusting... Advance.
Everything is even more fun advance. Even Blockbuster! Which will have GBA units and games for rental. Yay. Rent games you don't have.. and REVIEW them for DMG Ice! Good idea? Yup! -PAW-
Adam: $15 for the system and two games for 5 days.
Philip: Cheaper then selling your soul.
 
 

Wait for the Wang Light.
Penny Arcade had a little comic on the Game Boy Advance today. They love it; but they find the screen to be rather dark. I have a lamp I use, although.. I have no real problems with the screen darkness as far as visibility.. but I wear glasses for Stigmatism. So, I naturally see things a tad darker. Maybe they need to get some glasses for use while loving Game Boy Advance? -PAW-

Foxlord: Works just fine for me. They should be happy that we've been blessed with such a marvelous machine. in conclusion: Get a flashlight.
Philip:Or get a Wang Light. It fits in all ports rather well and spreads.. light.. thickly.
 

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Short Muse
Birdo is a GUY remember that....

Have a chocolate Staryu for desert!

Protest Europe!!
The Game Boy Advance will be 90 of whatever they use as money in England. (I heard they use the standard Euro Money which consists of chicken feathers, and animal fangs.) 90 of the monopoly money equals $135 -roughly- in US Dollar Bills. So, I think they should protest this outrageous price by gathering up Play Station 2 units and tossing them into the ocean while dressed like Mario. I'm not sure what this will accomplish; but it should be good fun to watch. I mean, dressing up in costumes and tossing stuff into the ocean. I mean, they could honestly get something done by doing that, or maybe not. -PAW-
 
 

Philip = Tired.
Yes. Very. I went to sleep at 5:30AM on Thursday, and woke up at 9:00AM Thursday.. I needs sleep and I was going to finish up my reviews and put them up.. but I'll put them up on Friday.. after work if I have some time before I head out and see Tomb Raider. So, I'll double date the thing up above and give you a rain check on some games. Okay? I need to fix up some reviews I was sent and I have a list I need to do. I'll post up the games I hope to review myself this weekend and then I'll put the word "DONE" next to them as I go along. Any reader reviews that pop up are well all cool. ^_^ I hope to get you the following reviews this weekend.
Xtreme Sports (GBC):
Rayman Advance:
Namco Museum:
There you go. ^_^ -PAW-

Adrock: Whatever you do, if Tomb Raider gets sold out... DON'T SEE Dr. Dolittle 2. It's horrible.
Philip: If Tomb Raider is sold out.. go see.. umm.. well.. Shrek is decent.
 

Wield your sword!
Broken Sword: Shadow of the Templars is the first of Revolution's games for the GBA. Now, there are *gasp* three Broken Sword games. Depending on how the game turns out, Revolution will decide if it is feasible to put the sequel and the third game -which isn't even out yet!- on GBA as well. That third game hits early 2002 for the consoles and PC. So, it hits when the first GBA game hits. Great timeing. The PC and Play Station games have recieved incredibly high honours. Did I fail to mention that Broken Sword is not a "kiddie" game? The aim of the Game Boy Advance is to reach a more "universal" market and it looks like that is happening. I'm excited, aren't you? -PAW-

Adrock:If you think GBA is kiddie, it's just that you're not hardcore enough.
Philip: Indeed.
 

Rambling... Advance.
I've got a few GBA games and I'll be honest, while a lot of people call the GBA "SNESque"; it's not really that. FZero is a sequel not a port, and Mario Advance, Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2, and Castlevania would not be possible on the Super Nintendo without requireing expensive custom chips. But, I'll tell you what has made the happist about the games! They all evoke something new. We're looking at a "generation" which is impossible to place properly. We have Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2; which could have been a Sega CD or Saturn game. Mario Advance which at first glance could be a Super Nintendo game, we have Rayman which is obviously a Play Station game, and Yoshi's Story for the N64 was a demo game on the system; which will eventually become a full game. Then you have Namco Museum which has old arcade games. Now, all of these sell. So, you essentially have a platform where all generations are welcome and will sell. This proves that the GBA is not a console; but an amalgamation of goodness that you must own. -PAW-
 

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Short Muse
Poor Pooka.. poor, poor Pooka..

JIGGLYPUFF....... advance.

Movies.. advanced.
Muddy Plot. Check.
Few but great action sequences. Check.
Fake looking special effects. Check.
Put that all together and you have Indiana Jones 4; or Tomb Raider: The Movie. Lara Croft's movie was the top selling movie in the box offices this last weekend by making $48.2 mill-i-on. I saw it and I liked it. It had the whole feeling that Mortal Kombat: The Movie has. Which means, it wasn't The Matrix, or Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon; but it didn't need to be. It was way better then Street Fighter: The Movie (Live Action), or Double Dragon: The Movie. Now to await Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within; despite the fact that it has an actor from Street Fighter: The Movie and is directed by the same person who directed Street Fighter: The Movie. And despite the fact that it is Final Fantasy in name only; because it has no Chocobo, Crystals, Airships, Moogles, or Cid. It does, however, have the pretentious "What is life, death, love, etc" sap that the games wallow in; so it should be interesting. -PAW-

Adam: But after all.. Special effects, techno soundtrack, supermodels disguised as actors, so-called "dynamic" camera angles, over-marketing and big-budget production and promotion, eliminate need for plot, story, or character development. Right?
Ty: At least that Billy Bob guy wasn't in it. Small animals make nests in his chest hair.
Nathan: Mmm... Angelina Jolie... Drool... =P Well, maybe I'll get around to seeing what I hear is a dreck of a movie for the sake of ogling at Mrs. Jolie once it's done with the bulk of its box office receipts. Now FF, on the other hand, I'll be camping out for. Okay, maybe not, but I'm seeing it on July 11th!
Philip: I liked Tomb Raider. Oh, TY and Nathan are from 'Dojo.
 
 

Selling out.... advanced.
I love that "advanced" ad campaign. Anyways, the Game Boy Advance sold over 500,000+ units in less then a week. Soon, the Fuschia Game Boy Advance hits stores and those numbers will go up even more. Nothing is shipping for the GBC/GBA this week; but next week, Alone in the Dark ships for Game Boy Color and that isn't to be missed! T rated fun for anyone who is old enough to play T rated games. In an interesting note, the Nuby Cobra Light Advance was one of the BEST SELLING accessories for the Game Boy Advance. It sold 25% more units then the Nyko Worm Light Plus/Advance. Nice! Speaking of selling out. No Viral Speak today or reviews. Still working on them! I rented GT Advance for a review, as well. -PAW-

Adam: Fastest selling handheld ever, safe to say.
Ty: Now when people sell a lot of hot cakes really fast, they say they're selling like Gameboys.
Nathan: Alone in the Dark, huh? Can the GBA screen get any darker?
Elvoid: I don’t want to be Alone in the Dark, bad things happen when one is a Alone in the Dark. Hey! Who touched me!
Philip: Not me.
Sock Monkey sits there silently thinking Sock Monkey thoughts..... Advanced!
 
 
 

Recap... advanced.
Ahem. *assumes newscaster pose* The Game Boy Advance seems to be selling out more than Moby, recently. The first week it was available, street drug sales dropped by a sharp percentage as more then 500,000 people spent money to start a slow descent into becoming legally blind. As September rolls along, expect 300,000 or so of those units to end up in principal's offices everywhere. Which means, that more teachers will be playing Doom then the students. We can only hope that the eventual Bad Business Suit Mafia massacres can be quickly detected and avoided. Lara Croft is hot biznitch as her new movie, quite literally, bounces jovially to the top of the box office by sucking down (And swallowing) 48.2 million dollars. Not too bad considering her only competition was an obese ogre, Disney's Atlantis: Secret of Blue Water, Moulin Rouge AKA The Best Little Whorehouse not located in Texas, Men in Black.. tights, and Halle Berri's chest. Personally, it's great to have Lara Croft on top. I think she should be on top more often. The Oracle of Ages and Oracle of Seasons have captured the hearts, minds, and wallets of people everywhere. Outselling EVERYTHING last month. Yes, even Pokémon can not match the power. On a note, I would like to comment that the Game Boy Advance sold 500,000 units WITHOUT the promise of Pokémon! Pika Pika Pikachu, indeed. Mario Kart Advance has been renamed Mario Kart Super Curcuit. I guess the name is better then "Mario's Krazy Kart Racers" or "Mario's Kart Racing Bonanza of Banana Induced Pain and Suffering". -PAW-

Adam: Am I the only one scared to death and petrified by the Lady Marmalade video? It gave these pop-stars what they secretly wanted.. an excuse to be the total whores that they are! Also, what's up with Nintendo's weird subtitles lately... F-Zero: Maximum Velocity?
Ty: If I weren't so deliriously sick of hearing about Shrek, I would definitely call GBA an "orge-knight success story". I agree with the Lara Croft on top thing, but I'll like her even better when she's only $2 with popcorn.
Nathan: Lara Croft can be on top anytime. o_O I must say I did enjoy riding on a motorcycle with her at last year's E3. Yes, Zelda VII and VIII are kicking much ass, even though I'm not even halfway through the former yet. And unfortunately for all of us sane Nintendo followers, Pokémon is coming to GBA next year. ::shudder::
Elvoid: Pokémon Vs. Pikmin: Match of the Millenium
Philip visualizes Clefairy being swarmed by hundreds of little red, blue, and yellow Pikmin.
 

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Short Muse
i like how you can strip Birdo of his Bow in Super Mario Advance.

CLEFAIRY....... advance.

A few minor repairs.
Look! The Release List actually updated! Wow! Hell also froze over, and a day went by where Philip actually loved his day job! Oh, wait. Only the first thing with the release dates happened. Sorry. -PAW-

Adrock: Con... tent? I don't know what that is, but it sounds good!
M3wThr33: Isn't "day job" latin for "Waste of time as you get paid doing something you hate"?
Tomm: Ah good, the release list...let's see...GBA came out LAST WEEK?!
Akemi:And Akemi actually commented on the news.  How's that for epic?
Philip: Lawrence of Arabia got NOTHING on us.
 

How to break your GBA.
Well, people are complaining about the GBA screen being too dark. A solution was found in a screw in the back of the GBA. By messing with the screw, it has been discovered that the GBA screen can be made lighter or darker. Well, I don't suggest you do that as it voids your warrenty. And what if you screw it too tight! Oh, well. For those who must complain.. I suppose that might help. -PAW-

M3wThr33:Are you serious? Although I don't have a problem with my GBA yet, I might want to do that in the future. Maybe it could become a searchlight if I twist it hard enough... *twists it* Argh! Retinas fusing together! Can't See!
Tomm: My solution is to play something BESIDES Castlevania.  Looky there--bright screen!  As a sidenote, if you buy a warranty from EB you can do whatever the hell you want to the system and return it--so screw away.
Akemi: Ah, screw it.
Philip: But gently.. it's not used to it yet.
 

What? It's a BOMB!
Hey! Snowflake Studios lives again! Harold Price AKA HBomb has pitched in to be my Shirt Guy Tom by updateing Snowflake Studios! Whoo Hoo! New comics! AT LAST! -PAW-

Adam: Somebody set us up the.. ah forget it.
*M3wThr33 stumbles about bumping into walls*
Tomm: So everyone makes Sluggy references, right?
Akemi finally stops that comic deprivation-caused twitching.
Philip: Snowflake Studios.. it will be your Fluffy Zöe.
 

Like Reviews?
Well, so do we. Here's some reviews. Roll in them and be happy. -PAW-
*M3wThr33 Falls into big pile of papers and rolls, clutching eyes tightly, screaming*
Tomm: Oh the humanity...
Philip: Another happy reader. BWA HA HA!
 

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Short Muse
Nothing like stuffing your Italian buddies in a trash can to say you care.

CHARIZARD....... advance.

The Lazy and the Superfluous.
Philip saw The Fast and the Furious. If you like cars.. go see it when it debuts in most movie theatres this weekend. Good movie. Speaking of FAST, here's news for you. Comments later, Zone of Enders may end up on GBA, Mr. Miyamoto is really my son, I lied about that last bit, and The Fast and the Furious is a good movie.. I will see it twice. Now to talk of  FURIOUS.. have you met my friend? Um.. I mean.. not that friend. A friendly reader review of a furious F-Zero. Before you get furious.. I'll get stuff done.. no problem. I'm just tired. -PAW-

Storm afoot..
Look.. it's thundering bad outside.. so I'll be quick. Release Dates UPDATED! That little variable thing in the back of the GBA hidden beneath a sticker is not a good thing to mess with. Wayforward Technologies is releasing a game based on Harvey Comic's Wendy and it has a GBA only level. This is good; because this game, and their Sabrina games are going to pay for Shantae's release onto shelves. Philip drives GT Advance around. Enix says YES to Game Cube for "Special" Dragon Warrior game. I'm thinking a souped up version of 7. They also said yes to GBA. So, we will get Dragon Warrior 4 through 6 on GBA if we are really good boys/girls/foys/fays/slimes. An Ace beats a King anyday, and Lara Croft's new game comes out next week. So, pack your cash for Alone in the Dark, and Tomb Raider 2: Curse of the Sword. Snowflake Studios is still dropping bombs all over the place. Every six seconds something happens, the sun also rises and it also sets. One flew over the cuckoo's nest, and I'm out of here. -PAW-

Random Blue Virii: But! There's no comments!
Vuefire the Apathic Red Virus: I'll comment. That article sucked.
 

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Short Muse
Slam Dracula with the hammer of MIGHT.

FOY....... advance.

Recapulate.
Am I the only one who thinks Molyneux sounds like a disease. I mean... "Peter Molyneux", it's either a disease or a new band ala David Bowie. Him and the freaks at Lionhead Studios want to port Black & White -which is essentially a TamaGODchi game- to Game Boy Color and Game Boy Advance. I suppose they could make it cool on the GBA.. but.. the GBC? Well.. I love the system and all; but... no. I forgot to mention it; but Nintendo Power Subscribers should have the newest catalogue. Oh, yeah! It has a sweet Game Boy Advance shirt, color changing football, headphones, and carrying cases. Oh, I think you need to call Nintendo at 1-800-882-0053 and order the Play It Loud soundtrack. (Item #048790) it's 41 tracks of Super Nintendo music from Legend of Zelda 3: A Link to the Past, F-Zero, Yoshi's Island, Metroid 3, Star Fox, and Ken Griffey's Winning Run. It's 0.99 cents. Just BUY IT! I mean.. DUH! It's awesome. Buy it. It has all the F-Zero music that should have been in the F-Zero: Maximum Velocity game. Speaking of F-Zero. It's the only Game Boy Advance game that I've hurt my hands playing. Why? Because I zone into it and race really furiously. Needless to say, I likes it. MarketTrack figures state the GBA SOLD 81,000 units in it's first week. Compared to the 60,000 units that the PS2 sold in it's first week. So, Sony. Know your role and shut your pie hole. Philip played a whole lot of PSO today. I'd also like to say that I have three female characters along with my own character. They are based on anime and comics. Amy Red (Weak Link Layer 2), Emily Laine (Weak Link Layer 1), and Lum (Urusei Yatsura). Please, for the love of God. DON'T FLIRT WITH MY FEMALE CHARACTERS. It's sickening sometimes. Really, I play in character for each one and it would help me keep my lunch if you DIDN'T try pathetic pick-up lines on my characters! For the ladies, I KNOW what you go through. Some of us guys are complete losers. Yeah. I got my laptop back unrepaired but I can still use it. I'm busy updateing the files I have on it for the site, and I'll put up new reviews tommorrow. ^_^ Got tommorrow off from work. Whoo Hoo! So, yeah. Later! -PAW-
 

Camilla made me do it.
Well, I know.. I've been really busy.. so.. I've got some stuff to upload.. but.. yeah. I'm getting to it. Next update some more stuff then just news and comments. 'Kay? Okay. -PAW-
M3wThr33: News, comments, new comments, comments in the nude...
Philip: Wake me up when we're funny. *yawns*
 

Our weekly ship.
The best selling GBA game was Mario Advance. Whoo Hoo! This week Hot Potato (With an E if you're nasty!) ships for Game Boy Advance. Alone in the Dark and Tomb Raider 2 also ship! I can't wait to get Lara Croft in my pants... pocket. -PAW-
M3wThr33: I still have yet to get a non-import gba game.
Philip: OOoooOOOOOO!
 

All the rage.
Remember Golden Axe and Streets of Rage? Well, Sega's "Official Dreamcast Magazine" (UK edition) announced that both of those titles will end up on GBA. If you know Streets of Rage.. you know that it has some AMAZING music. Streets of Rage 1, 2, and 3 all have killer music and fantasic gameplay. Golden Axe is also quite good and that is really a large understatement. -PAW-

M3wThr33: Streeets of Rage. Hehe. I don't get it. *Googles it* Okay... lame joke. But the game was done really well.  All I want is mutliplayer support, 1 cart per gba is fine for me. Everybody should own all of these games. Compilation?
Philip: Umm.. indeed.
 

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Short Muse
Am I the only one who thinks it is odd that I can use the Fire Whip UNDERWATER?

Name that "ledyba" FOY! Foy is a better name! Remember this when you get Pokémon Crystal!

Our love is real.
Sorry for the lack of an update. I was thinking on things.. and I went and saw AI. Sorry I missed you, Nicole.. you'd have liked it. The movie is how Pinocchio would be.. if Stanley Kubrick wrote it. A two and a half hour mind trip that might force some viewers to sleep. But others.. will get it and be truly intrigued. Speaking of Intrigue... check THIS out. Oh, I can tell you what Planet Monsters is like. It's like Snobee. Where you move around a grid and push Ice Blocks into enemies.That's the only way to kill them. Also, Robocop at E3 for GBA was crasherriffic. I'll update later today.. gotta sleep.. so tired.. yeah.. -PAW-
 

It's your fluffy Z.O.E.
Zone of Enders, despite sounding like it should be a football game or a movie you SHOULDN'T be watching, is headed to Game Boy Advance. It features large mechs, and a story that should make Gainax's lawyers very happy. There's a version of the game for Play Station 2; which comes packed with a Metal Gear Solid 2 demo. Needless to say, it sold very well as one of the better selling demos of it's time. But here's to hoping the GBA version is good to the last drop or something like that. -PAW-

Carrie: It has big mech - what else is there to know?
Elvoid_18: Hmm, Metal Gear Ray in Z.O.E, interesting concept! Time to spread malicious lies in Newsgroup Land! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Akemi: Guys who drive large mechs are compensating for their own.. ahem, *little* mechs.
Foxlord: so now you can play with your own Mech in the palm of your Hand ;)
Mechy_B: Mmmmm....
Hbomb hits Mechy_B with a wok: That's enough outta you.
M3wThr33: Will it include a Metal Gear GB 2 demo? 2 GB? GBA? Ah, Gameboy doesn't need demos. Demoes? *Shrugs*
Philip: I always wondered why they called it Metal Gear SOLID until now. So, Fei.. how's Weltall?
 
 

Penny Arcade for your thoughts.
Penny Arcade, the drunken love child of Gabe and Tycho (don't ask), has once again mentioned Game Boy Advance in it's comics. Feast thy eyes upon it's umm.. comicness. -PAW-

Carrie: Don't ask, don't tell?
Elvoid_18: Castlevania: Circle of the Moon. Hmm Circle of the Moon, I guess some stuff just shouldn't be done through portholes.
Akemi: That must have been one HELL of a party.
Foxlord: I'm Hungry.
Hbomb: May I remind you that Snowflake Studios has been updating every day for the last week and a half?
M3wThr33:Go on ahead.
Philip: Hatman is my hero.
 

NPD on.. never mind.
The sales figures are in, we all know the GBA sold more then the PS2 in a week. Once Sony gets over it's denial of this fact, they can begin to start cleaning out their desks and be happy. The NPD TRSTS stats are in. The top ten best selling games were all GBA and GBC games. Okay, Red Cation for the PS2 was number 10. But, yeah. Here's the Top Nine then.

9. GT Advance Championship Racing
8. Namco Museum
7. Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages
6. Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons
5. Rayman Advance
4. Castlevania: Circle of the Moon
3. F-Zero: Maximum Velocity
2. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2
1. Super Mario Advance

Words can not describe my joy that Namco Museum has made it onto that list. In fact.. I was so joyful I took it out and played it. Fun game.. should have the review to you soon; but.. I'm lazy. -PAW-

Carrie: Pole Position and Dig Dug? I'm there! There's just something twisted about popping bad guys like balloons..
Elvoid_18: Ok, we have Castlevania, we have F-Zero, we have Mario, we even have dusty old arcade games. Now where is our Phantasy Star Collection Advance?!
Akemi: Ya DAMN right Mario is number one...
Foxlord: I'm so ashamed, I haven't finished Castlvania. But have been Playing Twisted Metal: Black!  Oh, Forgive me Konami!!!!!!
Hbomb wonders if Rayman is related to Rayboy.
M3wThr33: WHAT? No dodgeball? *Beans HBomb in the head*
Philip: Dodgeball? When i was growing up, we played Dodgebrick.
 

Reviews and stuff...
Viral Speak? This Friday... I'll do it. Been behind. I got most of the stuff on this thing together.. and well.. FIVE NEW REVIEWS! Whoo Hoo! It's good. -PAW-

Carrie: Reviews are very happy!
Elvoid_18: Reviews go good with Skittles and Icees.
Akemi: Reviews.  Best read naked.
Foxlord: always nice to kick back with a 6-pack of cold ones and read Reviews.
Hbomb has an individual named Reviewy_B tied up: I can't think of anything else to say, so helloooooooooooooooooooooooooo Akemi!!!
M3wThr33: Haha! I get the last word... unless Phil does. What is the last word, Phil?
Philip: The last word is: "Shop". When you say "Shut Up" really fast it sounds like "Shop". I learned it on AIM today. Fun word. SHOP! SHOP!
 

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Short Muse
Birdo: He thinks he is a girl  and he spits eggs from his mouth. He'd rather be called "birdetta".
(Called Ostro by accident in the instruction booklet. But, BirdO is a masculine name. If it was feminine.. it would be BirdA.)

Name that "ledyba" FOY! Foy is a better name! Remember this when you get Pokémon Crystal! I mean it!