Old news?
Well, since I'm too lazy to dig through the vast New Archives to see if I already reported this months ago.. The Magic Box is saying that Psygnosis is planning to port WipeOut to Game Boy Color next year. My opinion? Don't port it to Game Boy Color. Because.. I want it to be a back view fast game like S.T.U.N. Runner. Instead.. why not hold onto it and release it as a Game Boy ADVANCED game. With the GBA debuting in the States early Spring 2001... it makes more sense to hold it for faster system. -PAW-
Infinity_Yak: S.T.U.N Runner rocks my world, they should just port stun runner to GBC, and save WipeOut for GBA.  I still remember playing SR on my 286.... memories...
Adrock: Philip has the one on Lynx. It rocks.
Philip: Yes. It does. ^_^
Ice Blue: You know what else rocks?  Sliced cheese.
 

Like Previews? Have another!
Decathlon 2000 for Game Boy Color. Heard of it? Nope? Well, it's going to be pretty cool. And I predict that you're going to want to read the preview of this sweet looking game in our previews section.. -PAW-
Infinity_Yak: It's so cute I could just take it home and give it a little box with a blanket.
Adrock: I remember the old Track and Field on that little pad that you had to stomp on, on the NES. Game Boy needs something like that... maybe not.
Jazz puts his GBC on the floor and proceeds to stomp on the buttons.
Akemi: I loved that Track and Field game.... It was so fun.  Maybe that's why I love those dancing games now? @_@
Philip: It takes rhythm to score big in those games. Just like life.
Ice Blue: HAHAHA... Bill Gates has no rhythm... look at him now.
Philip: Yeah. Look at him now. He's a loser who never graduated high school and made money off of being a jerk to small companies.
 

Snow Job, anyone?
The Snowflake has updated! Usual Suspects.. and Importationality! Eat them up! -PAW-
Infinity_Yak:  Don't have to ask me twice!
Adrock: Eat them up!
Akemi: Oishii! ^_^
Philip: Yeah!
Ice Blue: Yuppidoodle-day!
 

If you like it.. marry it!
Or something like that. It's Viral Speak and it's clinging to my leg. -PAW-
Infinity_Yak: I'll grab the pepper spray... again... I thought I told you to lock that thing up!
Adrock: It used to be about Foy and cool stuff, now it's about... improper uses of luggage... and Akemi's legs. Yeah, now it's about better than cool stuff.
Jazz (As Dr Evil): Rrrrrrrriiiiiiiiight.
Philip: Umm.. Jazz.. Akemi's legs are awesome... they're to DIE for.
Akemi: You know, I think you people should be writing about Foy (totemo kawaii desu ne!) and GB and how 'bout writing up some praise for Philip, Ice Blue, Jazz, Adrock and Yak?  They deserve it. Enough with the pastry and tubular luggage sex and me, okay?  I'm not that great, but I do appreciate it... Thank you. ^_^
Ice Blue: No... they aren't to DIE for... nothing is to die for... if you die, you can't appreciate it.  Only if you love someone so much that you'd die so they could live... then they are to die for... to you anyways.
Random Blue Virus: Okay, Prof. Blue, you killed it.
 

I just thought of something.. isn't the "Team Rocket's Sneak Attack" card cute? I mean.. that girl on the card is cute. Oh.. I'll shut up now..^_^

I am One
Well, everyone seems to be talking about the Game Boy Advanced sound right now. And I figured.. hey.. let's talk about it too. It's capable of doing a lot of cool stuff. Like pausin a song midway for a sound sample or cue then restarting at the same position it stopped. Umm.. yeah. Anyways, Tendo Project had some interview they wanted me to mention; but I can boil the whole sound bit down to you in three words. "It kicks Booty". Got that? That's all you need to know. -PAW-

Akemi: *dancing and singing* Dance, put a little booty in your dance, dance ... ^_~
Adrock: I see you GBA, shakin that @ss
Philip: Did I mention that the Shock N' Rock accessory makes your Game Boy Color look like Jennifer Lopez?
 

Fristessa
Looky dat! It's two more reviewsss! Lovely readersss.. lovely.. give mess reviewsss.. the Smeee likesss reviewsss. Preciouss. Preciouss. Vigilante 8 and Adventure Isssland.. So.. preciousss.. click... -PAW-

Akemi: Yay to "The Boinker" and "Primeval"!  *applauds* You guysss rock! ^_~
Philip: Yess..
 

Siva
Okay.. for curiousity sake.. here's the "specs" Nintendo mentioned about the sound.. just for those who care to click here -PAW-

Akemi: Curiousity killed the cat, ran over the dog, plucked the bird and dehydrated the fish.
Philip: Help me hold back this wave of PETA fanatics!
 

Frail
It's me again.. Margret. He he he. You don't know me.. but I know you! He he he. What are you reading Margret? Is it Viral Speak? -PAW with apologies to Ray Stevens-
Akemi: My doctor said no more Viral Speak for me until next week when I will hopefully be feeling better... 
Adrock: Those virii don't sit very well...
Philip: That's why I cook 'em first.
 

Nifty! Look! Foy is back in the grey spot! Right below the Catch 'Em game! ^_^

Lazy Friday.
Peace and Love people. It's a LAZY FRIDAY. It's... LAZY. But we kick the LUV over to ya with something good. Lara Croft and a Solid Snake.. it's the movie you've been looking for.. oh.. wait.. naw... it's two new reader reviews. And to top it off.. some Viral Speak. -PAW-

Ice Blue: That Viracidic Talk is a darn tootin' good time on such a lazy day!
Akemi: Have a great weekend all... Relax and read up the new reviews!
Philip: Peace out!

The Catch 'Em game below.. have you played it yet? You can come by daily and click it to see what Pokémon you caught for the day.. or you can write down the one's you've caught so far in an attempt to "Catch 'em all!" Why not try it once a day to see what Pokémon is yours today? ^_^

It's that time of the week again.
Yup.. it's that time again.. NPD TRSTS Stats. Now you can be angry all day! Embrace the wrongness of the NPD TRSTS Stats for June 11th - 17th. Oh, enjoy them. Love them in a hard way. Feel them, touch them, taste them, umm... never mind. -PAW-

Ice Blue: You make NPD TRSTS Stats sound like it can give you a venereal disease...
Jazz suspects that parents have strange urges to buy Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen games...
Akemi: Use proper protection when reading the stats... Better safe then sorry.
Philip: And double up; just in case some stats break through.
 

But Mommy! He's got MP3s!
Well, I was debating on whether to do reviews tonight.. or hold them for tommorrow and debut our newest section... get this. Anyways, I think's the PERFECT time to do this. Especially with all the heat the format has been taking lately. Anyways, we outlaws. And we're about to descend into the Sixth Circle. -PAW-

Ice Blue: Did you say "perfect"?  As in... Perfect Dark?  Oh... didn't think so.
Jazz: Was a matta wit you, Iceblue? Didn' yo mama ev'a tell you notta give away no bad jokes. Run 'long home now.
Akemi: Someone needs to get out more.
Philip whistles nervously.
 

*Sticks out Tongue*
Yes, we have a new Preview! Yes, we have new reviews! BUT! We want to focus on Sixth Circle MP3 tonight.. so.. you'll see those sweet lovings tommorrow.. and as always.. here's some Viral Speak to jump your bones. I mean, make you happy and feel better. -PAW-

Ice Blue: Whoo! We get some sweet lovin' tomorrow...
Jazz: I'll take the sweet lovin combo, supersized.
Akemi: Do you want fries with that?
Philip: Only if they go with that shake.
 

Pikachu! I choose you! For dinner! Bwa ha ha!

A quick reminder!
The Catch 'Em game below.. have you played it yet? You can come by daily and click it to see what Pokémon you caught for the day.. or you can write down the one's you've caught so far in an attempt to "Catch 'em all!" Why not try it once a day to see what Pokémon is yours today? ^_^

Who the Hell?
Bernstein Bears on Game Boy Color.. thanks to Ed Magnin & Associates and Mattel. My first question was: "Why oh, God in Heaven, why?!" My next question was: "Do I get to shoot them?" Apparently not... as it's a SPORTS game.. you know.. "extreme" sports. So it's a Tony "Brother Bear" Hawk type game. Oh-kay. Am I the only one who sees this as strange and wrong? -PAW-

Adrock: Who is BUYING these games?
Akemi: Bernstein Bears?!  Sports?! Well, I remember Brother Bear could skateboard, but didn't Sister Bear ride a tricycle?!
Philip: And jump rope..
 

Start the Commotion
Hey, you've heard about that MP3 of supposed Game Boy Advance music right? Well, I have heard it too.. and while it is "impressive".. a few things bugged me about it. And those things lead me to believe it isn't real. Sorry. Point ONE. Namco owns the rights to Tale of Phantasia, not Nintendo. Point TWO. There is NO Tales of Phantasia 3. There are three games in the Tales series; but NONE of them are called Tales of Phantasia 3. The series goes: "Tales of Destiny", "Tales of Phantasia", and the upcoming Play Station title "Tales of Eternia". Sorry. No Tales of Phantasia 3 exists. So that leads me to doubt it. Oh, well. Oh, go descend into the Sixth Circle. -PAW-

Adrock: And if it was from the GBA, the in-built speaker won't sound that good.
 

Ooh La La
Tilt me baby! Adrock gets some action in the previews tonight! Yeah! Shake it Adrock! Tilt it! Oh, new reviews (And iSymph!) too! Yeah! Yummy! Yay! Woo! Oh, forget it.. -PAW-

Adrock: So give some respect. DMG Ice rules like Kung Fu.
Akemi: Who's the man?!  Adrock's the man.  And you know it.
Philip: That Adrock is one bad Mother- Shut yo mouth!
 

Face the Flames
Make out with the Viral Speak. For it loves you greatly. -PAW-

Adrock: We like it a lot like Cool Whip.
Akemi: Cool Whip is a good thing.  You gotta love the Cool Whip.
Philip: And chocolate syrup!
 

Did you know that Poliwhirl has an ACTUAL Froggie form in Pokémon 2 Gold and Silver? You give it something to hold when you trade it over to make it change. I like froggies. Oh, yes.. I do! Froggies fun! Fun to munching and crunching! I wonder what that Pokémon tastes like?!

Catch'Em Instructions!
The Catch 'Em game below.. have you played it yet? You can come by daily and click it to see what Pokémon you caught for the day.. or you can write down the one's you've caught so far in an attempt to "Catch 'em all!" Why not try it once a day to see what Pokémon is yours today? ^_^

Falling
Snowflake updates! Yippee! Jump for it! -PAW-

Jazz: No. Well, ok.
Akemi: What do I look like, a cheerleader or something?!
Ice Blue jumps for it, like Mario Mario.
Philip: Okay.. I beat DYNA.. how do I find.. Dragonia.. *goes back to playing* Oh, Sixth Circle MP3!
 

Cheap Shot
No.. there isn't much today.. sorry... Oh, some Viral Speak for you I suppose. -PAW-

Akemi: *discovers the cure for Viral Speak* YES! *drops the bottle* DANG!
Ice Blue: Viral Speak is a terminal disease...
 

Waste of space..
To kill some space, I suppose I could talk about how excited I am about the Game Boy Advanced, or give you a quick run-through of my opinion on Crystalis. I'm almost done with it so I'll review it VERY soon. It's a very cool game. Although, NST took some... liberties with it that some purists aren't going to dig. Oh, because of the well... size of this update... I'll just tag it onto yesterdays. ^_^ -PAW-

Jazz: Don't worry, we wash our newsities before we reuse them.
Akemi: We recycle. 
Ice Blue: [singing] Recycle... reduce... reuse... and close the loop.
Foy passes out ear plugs to everyone.

Boogie it down.
When we're right. IGN Pocket put up an article mentioning that the demo MP3 claiming to be from the GBA wasn't real. Well.. duh. We went over this yesterday. Just thought you all would like to know that. I printed it out grinded it into fine particles, stuck it in some tea, and drank. Tastes good. Like common sense. Oh, for those who didn't see it yesterday.. here's the little article in Italics. Just to refresh some memories and because tonight is slooooooooooow.

Start the Commotion
Hey, you've heard about that MP3 of supposed Game Boy Advance music right? Well, I have heard it too.. and while it is "impressive".. a few things bugged me about it. And those things lead me to believe it isn't real. Sorry. Point ONE. Namco owns the rights to Tale of Phantasia, not Nintendo. Point TWO. There is NO Tales of Phantasia 3. There are three games in the Tales series; but NONE of them are called Tales of Phantasia 3. The series goes: "Tales of Destiny", "Tales of Phantasia", and the upcoming Play Station title "Tales of Eternia". Sorry. No Tales of Phantasia 3 exists. So that leads me to doubt it. Oh, well. Oh, go descend into the Sixth Circle. -PAW-

Yup. There you go. -PAW-

Adrock: Score one for Philip! He should go on Ben Stein.
Jazz: Actually, Philip posted the file on Usenet that's why he.. uh.. never mind.
Ice Blue: Tonight is slower than your mutha...
Random Blue Virus: What the?
Ice Blue: Yeah... I'm assuming you have a turtle named mutha...
Philip shakes his head in dismay.
 

God Bless you!
I would like to say a hearty congratulations to our awesome readers. Specifically to the two readers who sent in reviews of Crystalis and Heroes of Might and Magic today. Thanks! I got Crystalis today and I'm already up to the "Styx" fortress.. and I'll have a review for everyone hopefully tommorrow. And.. well.. thanks! Peace people! Click on the Singing Marin to go to the Reviews section! -PAW-

Adrock: Do you love the reviewsity?
Jazz: Gotta respect the reviewsity!
BowWow (via #gameboy): Respect!
Ice Blue: Ummm...
Philip: No.. you don't get any, Ice Blue.. it's for the Reviews.
 

Like that. Uh huh.
Viral Speak! It's training to beat you up! Oh, Sixth Circle MP3... if you haven't been to it yet. -PAW-

Adrock: Our mp3s don't claim to be from the GBA!
Ice Blue: Virii in training.  Do not disturb.
Philip: Shhh....
 

Sorry delicious Poliwhirl froggies! I sorry!

Catch'Em Instructions!
The Catch 'Em game below.. have you played it yet? You can come by daily and click it to see what Pokémon you caught for the day.. or you can write down the one's you've caught so far in an attempt to "Catch 'em all!" Why not try it once a day to see what Pokémon is yours today? ^_^

Friday.. that's my HIGH day!
Or not.. anyways, Fridays are like.. umm.. SLOW. So, instead of boring you with a sappy excuse or recycling news. Let's look at this week in review shall we. *takes out slide show* Oh, forget the slide show. Here's the run down of all that was good and happy this last week!

1. Crystalis unleashed on the public! Rabbit Boots hit the runways of France, and members of PETA hit France, with Ketchup. A few obsessive fans storm to the Space Needle in Seattle, causing riots and mass looting in an attempt to "Destroy the threat of technology!" and Ted Kaczynski sits silently in his cell snuggling a Crystalis cartridge. Also the effect on many an old school gamer is great as mass brain explosions and grumbles result from learning that it's NOT pronounced "Crystal IS"; it's pronounced "CRY-stalis".

Infinity_Yak:  My fragile illusion of phonetic game titles shattered forever...
Ice Blue: I'll still call it Crystal-is... ;P
Philip: And I'll call it.. "reviewed on Monday." ^_^
 

2. Little Elian goes home after wasteing over Two Million dollars of Tax Payer Money and finally "Catching them all". Re-education has begun already and Elian has now learned to hate the Yellow and Blue versions.. as they are for "Capitalist Pigs". But he has been allowed to keep red as it is "The Proper Communist version!". He may keep it as long as he has enough Mega Memory Cards for sharing. After all, Uncle Fidel wants to play too.

Infinity_Yak:  But if Elian was shipwrecked from China, it'd be no big deal, because now Chinese communism is US-friendly.  Hypocrital US policies...
Philip: I actually agree.. yes.. some of our policies are.. yucky.. bad.. non-juicy.
Akemi: And what's up with the Aunty getting paid to pose in Penthouse?!
Ice Blue: Roseanne is posing for Playboy...
Ice Blue shivers.
Philip is glad that the most racy thing he reads is PSM.
 

3. Napster ticks off Dr. Dre loving fans. Dr. Dre was quoted* as saying: "**** those stealing *****-*** fans who ****ing download my ****ing music. Don't they know you're SUPPOSED to ****ing steal it from stores with a ****ing 40 while smoking a blunt instead?" DMG Ice launches yet ANOTHER section. A really ugly looking one that Adrock wants to remix. (Yeah, Adrock!) It's for MP3s and there are some sweet ones tonight as it updates for this weekend.. with some VERY hot files. Oh, yeah. Go see. Descend into the Sixth Circle. *Not actual quote.

Infinity_Yak:  Good luck getting INTO a record store toting a 40 of big-bear and smoking a spliff, let alone getting out without tripping some sort of alarm while under the influence.
Akemi: Dr. Dre really earns the title of Doctor with that vocabulary.
Ice Blue: He and I are alike... we both have a phD in being OGs... I got mine from Eazy E's den...
 

4. Viral Speak settles down for the weekend as people prepare for the upcoming day of much liver damage, exploding stuff, promiscuity, drug use, and heartburn. God bless America. Where we have a holiday just to celebrate our freedom by doing things that can take it away. Anyways, new Viral Speak.

And that is your Recap of the week. -PAW-

Jazz grumbles something about the damn game pronouncing it wrong.
Infinity_Yak seconds that grumble...
Akemi: Everyone get some rest this weekend and reflect on this week's events.  Ja ne!
Philip:Yeah! Happy weekend! Oh, download that Final Fantasy Legend 2 file! It's cool.
 

DON'T DO IT VULPIX! Stay out of the Fireworks box!

Catch'Em Instructions!
The Catch 'Em game below.. have you played it yet? You can come by daily and click it to see what Pokémon you caught for the day.. or you can write down the one's you've caught so far in an attempt to "Catch 'em all!" Why not try it once a day to see what Pokémon is yours today? ^_^