The Setting: The Dawn Spawn Basement is quiet, the Goldthingies have been
announced. Sephiroth is quietly thinking to himself. "Well, those sucked."
Vuefire looked up from E-Mail. "They may have sucked; but I recieved no joy
from that." Poppy Seed 'poinged' around the room yelling: "Goldthingies
rock!". Frenchy, a lickitong, watched her poing around the room. "I love
her." He thought to himself. Until Sephiroth hit him with a HYPER BEAM. "Hey!
I read your mind.. Geekboy. That's just.. wrong!" "Oh, they want us to
contribute a MST to the Goldthingies." Vuefire said. "Damn.. I don't wanna..
I know! I'll dig up some old BBS post of Philip's as revenge! Here's the one
he had on an IGN BBS, explaining why he joined.." Sephiroth Smiled an evil
smile. "Let's GO!" "Wait!" Said Vuefire. "We gotta advertise first." "Oh,
yeah." Said Sephiroth. "Here you go. www.dmgice.com It will own you and umm..
http://dmgice.8k.com/ will not own you; but it will make you wonder about the
people who read DMG Ice."

Sephiroth = S
Vuefire = V
Poppy Seed = PS
Frenchy = F


>This is Philip Wesley of
S: The flies.

>DMG Ice -www.dmgice.com-
S: What the Hell kinda name is "DMG Ice" anyways?
V: It's a disease or something.
PS: It could be an acronym?
F: Don't Melt Gas In Crystal Eggs?

>I run that website
S: Badly.

>and update it
V: That's what they call it now adays?

>Monday through Friday and all that jazz.
S: Or rather.. none of that Jazz.
V: Monday, Monday.

>Anyways, I like
S: Electric rats and ten year old girls.
V: Or something like that.

>IGN and I'm proud to be a
S: Sell-Out
V: Kid with no girlfriend.
PS: An American!
F: Working on a site with Poppy Seed!

>part of it. Mainly because of
S: Daily Radar, they pimp out young nubile women.
V: Hey.. you're takeing MY material!

>that logo. I swear...
V: I did not have improper relations with that logo!

>one day I was looking
V: In someone else's window.

>at the logo for no apparent reason and
S: I got sick.

>I saw the Face! I did!
S: THE FACE?!
PS: Oh. no! We're all going to die!
F: HELP! I'm scared, now! Poppy Seed, HOLD ME!

>So, I called up the local papers; but they
S: Were already dead.

>didn't see the Face in the logo.
Sephiroth stares at the logo.

>They just looked at me like I was
S: Dumb and stupid?

>nuts
V: HOORAY!

>and mumbled something about
S: Juicy Fruit.

>"The Vatican not being pleased".
S: Damn straight!

>But I saw the Face. I talked to the Face many times a day for a week.
S: He has no girlfriend.
V: It's not like anyone.. calls him.

>The Face told me to apply for IGN; so I did.
S: Never underestimate.. The Face.

>For some odd reason they remotely liked DMG Ice
S: Like that's possible.

>and accepted it into the fold.
S: I like how that is worded... "The Fold".
V: It's better than saying he's in bed with them.

>And here I am today. Thank you Face.
S: (As Philip) You ruined me.

>I stopped
S: Breathing?
V: Breeding?

>seeing the Face in the logo a few days ago;
S: He caught it with... the Nose.
V: Ouch.

>but it didn't matter. Because I heard Mary speaking to me
S: She said: "Go away, creep."

>from the Pikachu plush toy on my desk. She wants me to create
S: Cold Fusion
V: Sweet loving!
F: Hold me Poppy Seed!
PS: That made no sense.


>something called "Content that is so PIKA good
PS: Is PIKA a cuss word?
F: I want to PIKA you like an animal.

>it will kick the PIKACHU
S: YEAH! Like that!

>out of all non-IGN sites." Yesterday, I accidently kicked
S: An innocent bystander.
V: Your momma.

>it across the room; but I'm sure the voices will return...
S: What he got them for Christmas.

>they always do.
V: Me.

>And I'm fine.
S: EGO!

>How's the weather?
S: Cold.

>Mmm... juicy fruit. Thank you.
S: You're welcome.

>Philip Wesley
S: Is a Dork.


"That's it? Was it funny enough?" Said Vuefire. Sephiroth looked at the MST.
"No, it stunk; but it'll do." "What's the original thing look like anyways?"
Asked Frenchy. "It's right here in all it's lameness below you." Said
Sephiroth.

This is Philip Wesley of DMG Ice -www.dmgice.com- I run that website
and update it Monday through Friday and all that jazz. Anyways, I like
IGN and I'm proud to be a part of it. Mainly because of that logo. I
swear... one day I was looking at the logo for no apparent reason and
I saw the Face! I did! So, I called up the local papers; but they
didn't see the Face in the logo. They just looked at me like I was
nuts and mumbled something about "The Vatican not being pleased". But
I saw the Face. I talked to the Face many times a day for a week. The
Face told me to apply for IGN; so I did. For some odd reason they
remotely liked DMG Ice and accepted it into the fold. And here I
am today. Thank you Face. I stopped seeing the Face in the logo a few
days ago; but it didn't matter. Because I heard Mary speaking to me
from the Pikachu plush toy on my desk. She wants me to create
something called "Content that is so PIKA good it will kick the PIKACHU
out of all non-IGN sites." Yesterday, I accidently kicked it across the
room; but I'm sure the voices will return... they always do. And I'm
fine. How's the weather? Mmm... juicy fruit. Thank you.
Philip Wesley