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August 6th, 2004 - The one where Philip insinuates naughty things. Why aren't you playing Doom 3 right now!? Well, if you have a good enough computer for it, why not? I only have a laptop with no *real* 3D cards, and it's almost two years old. Sooo I shall update while some players soil themselves in the DARKNESS. Ah, well. I wonder how well it will do in Japan? Speaking of Japan and IMPENDING DOOM: After debuting in Japan, Final Fantasy 1 & 2 hit the top of the sales charts in Japan. FF1 & 2 sold almost 150,000 units and narrowly beat Paper Mario RPG. Of course, the Game Boy Advance (SP version) enjoyed a healthy leap of about 0.4 percent to beat the sale of (replacement) PS2s. So, do you think SquareEnix will think twice about bring 3 through 6 onto the Nintendo DS based on the sales of FF1 & 2 for GBA? And to add on to the questions: The recently revealed Wario Ware 2 for Game Boy Advance has a motion sensor device inside of it and will apparently not make much use -if any- of the directional pad on the unit. The motion sensor detects which way the GBA unit is being held. So, expect a crazy and weird game that involves physically moving your GBA in over 200 brand new microgames. That said, I dread an "Ultimate" Wario Ware on the DS. Imagine if the DS pak used the motion sensor, voice recognition, the touch screen, the A button, and the d-pad with multi-player wireless modes! That would be crazy. Imagine the use that all of those features could be used for in a dating sim game! I could see some sad Japanese teenager on the train, shaking a DS as the stereo speakers blast "More! Harder! Shake me! Yes!" and then Sophia Coppola would put it into "Lost in Translation 2: Still There, Yet NOT There." Which -of course- would start out with Scarlett Johansson's butt and send critics into a frenzy of how meaningful the movie is. I think they see Heaven in that butt. Wow. Heaven is a butt in pink underwear. That's crazy. Also crazy is what Caduceus for DS from Atlas really is. It is a SURGERY game. You save people by talking to them and making needed slices, dices, and splices. Creepy AND crazy. Neat. Also crazy neat is how the third Game Boy Advance F-Zero game "F-Zero Climax" will include a titillating track editor for all your various pleasures. Expect the speedgasmic game to take inside a name metamorphosis in the United States of America. I mean, "F-Zero Climax" sounds like a good name for an "adult" movie. I can see it now! "Often renamed racer Rick Hunter/Wheeler (No relation to Mike Hunter) and Captain Falcon blaze their vehicles through tunnels and tubes in search of the Blood Hawk." (No relation to Mike Hawk.) Oh, yes. We are CLEVER! Like a fox clever. Snarl, baby! Snarl! Oh, a Custom Robo game is coming out for Game Boy Advance. I shall now demonstrate more genuine enthusiasm for Custom Robo GBA than the entire Democratic Party feels for John Kerry; but will never admit. Custom Robo. Woo and Hooray. I shall now furiously wave my hand in joy. -PAW- August 2nd, 2004 - The one with Survival Kids on FREAKING NINTENDO DS. Well, it's August time and there is some news! First off, the cover story for July is in post-production and four classic DMG Diva articles were added to the Iceblock section of the library. I also archived the old news and changed the intro image. As for news? Below is a list -with selected comments- of games recently announced and finalized for the Nintendo DS on Nintendo of Japan's webpage. Oh, yes. Nintendo is playing seriously. Some of the following announcements may make your heart skip a beat. You have been warned. Konami 1. Castlevania (Oh, Hell yes.) 2. Boktai (Can you say ultra gimmick?) 3. Goemon 4. Vandal Hearts 5. Survival Kids (You have no idea what seeing this game in this list did to me. But I feel that this game alone is worth everyone rushing out to buy a Nintendo DS. This game is also NOT ON PSP. SUCK IT DOWN, SONY! If it has elements from the sequel. Oh, yes! Controlling animals, combining items, add in multiple endings, multi-branching plots, staying alive. The eating system in Metal Gear Solid 3 that everyone talks about is ripped off of the original Survival Kids. The first GBC game is rare; but WORTH TRACKING DOWN. Oh, YES. I'm dreaming of playing this one tonight. Oh, both of the GBC games also contain MONKIES and mini-games. Fox Cap! Fox Cap!) 6. Winning Eleven Series 7. Jikkyou Powerful Pro Baseball series (Big head baseball for all!) SquareEnix (If I try to comment on any of these, the article will be pages long...) 1. Seiken Densetsu (Secret of Mana) new game (So, that WAS a DS project.) 2. Slime Mori Mori Dragon Quest new game 3. Dragon Quest Monsters new game 4. Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles new game Bandai 1. One Piece (Arrh! Piratey!) 2. Meteos Namco 1. New Mr. Driller (Oh, yes. We needed new Mr. Driller.) 2. New Unnamed RPG Nintendo 1. Nintendogs (Okay. Nintendo. What the HELL is this series? I've seen it announced for Game Cube, GBA, and DS. Soo WHAT IS IT?) 2. New Wario Ware (Well, duh.) Capcom 1. Rockman EXE series (Megaman Battle Network. Yay!) 2. Viewtiful Joe Series (Henshin a GO GO, Baby!) Marvelous (Natsume releases their stuff here.) 1. Harvest Moon DS (Ah, between Survival Kids and this. It's SEXY.) 2. River King Series (A fishing game on the DS. Oh, the possabilities are CRAAAZY with two extras A's.) 3. Original RPG game Tecmo 1. New game from Team Ninja (Will we finally get Dead or Alive: Sexy Massage Parlor? One can only rub and hope.) 2. Monster Farm game (Rub your monsters! Oh, yeah!) Tomy 1. Naruto (Somewhere, a fangirl just sighed happily. We are afraid.) 2. Zoids (It's not all roses here.) Taito 1. Puzzle Bobble Series (Oh! This works well. It's "Bust-A-Move" in the USA.) 2. Rakugaki Kingdom Series (Graffiti battles for everyone! Wow. Lots of old awesome series are being reborn on the DS. What next? Bionic Commando from Capcom? Who knows.) Banpresto 1. Dragon Ball Z (Teh S Uck will never die.) Game Arts 1. New RPG (Oh, neat!) Genki 1. Shutokou Battle/Tokyo Xtreme Racing (See! The DS has racing games too! Funny note: The PSP has about 70% of it's current announced line-up in the Racing Genre. The DS has about 5% of it's current announced line-up in that genre. I guess if you love playing ONLY racing games, you get a PSP; but if you love EVERYTHING ELSE: DS is your choice.) 2. Living High Killing Low (Huh?) Sammy 1. Jissen Pachislot Hisshouhou Hokutonoken (Pachinko game.) D3 Publisher 1. Unnamed Action game. Rocket Company 1. Chobi Island 3 (The popular Animal Island Friend game comes from the GBA to a DS sequel. Nyah!) Chun Soft 1. Mysterious Dungeons (The dungeon crawling that never ends. Chocobo not included.) Sega 1. Sonic DS (It's a confirmation.) Spike 1. RS Riding Spirits (Racing game..) Idea Factory 1. Spectral Force (Good game. Bad anime.) Hudson 1. Tengai Makyou Series (Far East of Eden - a roleplaying series that has been on the Game Cube, PC Engine CD, Saturn, Super Famicom, PS2, and will also be on the PSP. The GBA game Oriental Blue -which has not made it here- is a spin-off of this series. Maybe, if the DS game comes out here, we will get Oriental Blue as well. This series has a lot of great voice samples and anime cutscenes ala Tales of Symphonia; but designed by RED COMPANY. Red Company is responsible for some of Sega's awesome Sakura Taisen games.) Yukes 1. Wrestling (Well, no system is complete with out a wrestling game.) That's the list of newly announced/confirmed/finalized games. The most notables being Survival Kids, Far East of Eden, Harvest Moon, Castlevania, everything from Square, and Mega Man Battle Network in my mind. Lots of great games. Survival Kids! SURVIVAL FREAKING KIDS! We have three reviews of the Survival Kids Game Boy Color game and we never got the ass-kicking sequel in the US. It's called Stranded Kids in Europe. I mean, we have not ONE not TWO; but THREE reviews of the GBC one. Read the reviews. Learn of our love. Survival Kids was one of the BEST Game Boy Color games ever created. -PAW- | |
 
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