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Darkman ruins "Joey's News"
Woohoo! Darkmans back! he he. hope you like this one:
 
 
Legal stuff- Just in case you’re, idiotic, retarded, or just plain clueless, I don’t own any of the characters I use, nintendo does. But I did make this MST, and contrary to most people’s beliefs, I do own Meowth’s infamous coffee mug. He asked to borrow one from me one day. And, figuring he wouldn’t give it back, I gave him my mug that always gives me bad luck, and thus why he’s almost always gunna be a regular in these MST’s. So that’s it, and here goes:
 

BOOM! SMASH! OW! These were the noises heard on the streets, for a man had been hit by a falling piece of a building, a building consisting of many tiny sub- workplaces, one of them being, Section 64.

The blast came from Samus, who was testing out her new XR-672392921 Arm replacement/ Death ray gun. As always, Meowth had forgotten his coffee mug in the workroom, but this time it was gunna be different. " Oh no, I’m not falling for that again!" Meowth thought.

"every time I go in there, the alarm always rings, this time I’m gunna find a sucker to do it for me. So who’s it gunna be? Too small, too fat, yea right! Moving too fast, WAIT! That’s not an excuse!"

So Meowth simply walk to the wall of the rec room and stood there, until, SMACK! The fast moving person collided with Meowth, whom proved to be none other than Falco Lombardi. " Hey, Birdbrain, go get my coffee!"

" Get your own coffee!" Falco countered.

SHING! "See these claws?"

" All right, all right."

Falco went grumbling into the work room to get Meowth’s coffee, and inevitably, the alarm went off. Falco walked back into the rec room, cursing Meowth and looking for candidates to help him. " Hmm, too fat, too small, yea right! Him." Falco finished, moving toward Marth and Roy of Fire Emblem.

" Um Konichi, uh, wa, minna, sand."

Marth just turned and looked at Falco like he was a total jackass and said, " I speak English, you jackass."

" What about him?" Falco asked pointing at Roy.

" He doesn’t." Marth explained.

" Whatever. Just help with a fic." Falco said.

" Hell, no!"

Marth replied, stepping back.

" See this beak?"

SHING! "See this sword?"

BZZT! BOOM! (ow!) " See this ray gun?"

" All right, all right, who’s no. 3?"

" You pick, I’ll judge." Falco said.

" Your buddy Fox?"

" Date with that hot, blue, fox-dog chick."

"Bowser?"

" Therapy."

" Ness?"

" Scaring hobos with his psychic powers."

" Kirby?"

" Sueing someone for mistaking him for a creampuff."

" Samus?"

" With that ray gun? Besides, she doesn’t talk."

" What about (Your Name Here)?"

" Who?"

" Dude from animal crossing. He doesn’t have a name, so he’s (Your Name Here)"

" All right. Hey! (Your Name Here)! MST with us!" Falco yelled.

" All right. But afterwards, your shellin out some serious cash for my shovel that got melted from Samus’ pop-gun death-ray thing." (Your Name Here) replied.

" Sure sure. Now come on and lets go!" Marth said impatiently. So the crew went in, disarmed, sat down, and rolled the fic.

Key

F- Falco

M- Marth

(Your Name Here)

BEGIN!!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1

F: Aah, the beginning of the end.

M: Yes yes..

Y: I’M gunna die, aren’t I?

Me: If Seto hates dogs so much, how would he feel about cats?

F: Who said anything about dogs?

Y: Me: If your going to say random things without explaining them, why don’t you go shoot yourself?

Nicky: What she means is, how would he feel as a cat?

M: And that doesn’t help in the least.

Y: Thank you for a useless explanation.

J: Don't ask me! I just watch!

F: And I just listen.

M: Kill the J!

Disclaimer: I don't own yugioh!

Y: No, but I do! Ha ha ha!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Joey's news~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M: Today, in Joey news, he got hungry, lost a duel, said a crapload of idiotic things, and got his ass kicked by Tristan.

F: (Veiwer of Joey News) Why is the news report always the same?

It was about 4:00 p.m. and the group was waiting for Joey

Y: To finish the bathroom business he started at 2.

to meet them.

M: Mmmmmm… I love meat.

Tristin: Do you think he forgot?

M: Tristan cant even spell his own name right, he has no reason to be dissin on Joey!

Yugi: We only reminded him 20 times!

F: (Yugi) Lets see if we can recall each one! Lets see…

Tea: Joey is going to make us late!

Y: That Bastard!

Ryou: I think I see him!(points at a figure walking toward them)

M: That’s pretty confident, considering all he can see is a figure.

All: JOEY!

F: Then they realized it was someone else, felt stupid, and turned around to talk amongst themselves again.

M: That’s what they get for guessing on figures….

Joey: I bet you'll never gess whats in da box!

Y: Joey said, holding up a bag.

The box Joey holds is moveing around rapidly and there are hole in it.

M: Wait a minute, there ARE hole in it? That hurts just thinking about it.

F: (Tea) Guys? I think Joey’s been pickin up cats on the streets and putting them in boxes again

M: Yea with multiple hole in the box.

Tea: A hamster with rabies?

Y: A rotweiler with a human arm in its mouth?

M: A deadly snake?

F: COOKIES!?

Joey: Kaiba!

All laugh

F: That must be a pretty damn big box!

M: My question is how JOEY got Kaiba in there.

Y: He had a box propped up by a stick with a can marked, KAIBA FOOD under it.

All: sweatdrop then start laghing.

Y: They started laghing?

M: Did they just get off a cross country flight or something?

F: Maybe all those hole in the O- zone layer are making them lagh.

Tristin: Joey you are so funny!

M: A laugh and a half, Muddaf***a!

Joey: No realy!(open box and a cat jumps out)

Y: Kaiba must’ve used the, TURN INTO A CAT magic card!

F: Joey’s stoned and everyone knows it.

All: lagh again.

M: Those hole in the O-Zone layer are really laghin the hell out of them

Yugi: Wow! You sure have changed scince we saw you last!

Y: What the hells a scince? I am not even gunna try.

Cat: Yeah yeah! I know I am a cat! Stop acting so dumb! Or eles i'll shit your throught with these claws!

F: Now, what to correct first, eles, a name or throught, short for throttle..

M: I cant believe he can shit in someone’s throught with his claws! THATS AWESOME!!

All:O.o dead silence

Y: Wow, he must’ve shitted in their throughts and killed them.

Joey: told ya! I was just walkin down the street and saw a black cat in the middle of the road, I looked at it and gess what it said? ""watch it moron!""

F: And so, Joey came to the immediate conclusion that the cat was Kaiba, and jammed it in a box with many hole, and showed it to his dimwit friends, where it threatened to shit in their throughts with his claws.

M: Yep, this story makes oodles of sense!

Ryou: ummmmm, this is new...

Y: Yea, you don’t really see talking cats everyday.

Seto: well I am going to go find out how to become human again! (walks away)

F: Did he just walk away? On two legs?

Y: Forget it.

F: But he didn’t even explain how he turned in to a ca-

Y: I said forget it.

Tristin: (grabs Seto) Joey? Are you thinkin what I'm thinkin?

M: (Joey) I don’t know, does it involve hockey players in tootoos?

Y: (Tristan) No, Joey. Tonight, were going to take over the world!

Joey: Yes I am!

F: $15 says he’s wrong.

Both: evil grin

M: Did they say, evil grin? Cuz that wasn’t in parentheses.

Ryou: befor you guys do whatever your going to do to him, listen, if he is in that body, where is his body?

Y: What ARE they going to do with him!?

M: What happened to the body, we flushed it down the potty…..

All: look at each other

F: Then they realized they were all looking at each other at once, felt awkward, and looked the other way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Seto's house~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mokuba: Seto! What are you doing?!?! Look at the couch! why did'ja do that?!?!?! Hey! Seto leave my hair alone! Don't swing on the fan!

Y: Uh-oh, someone needs there ridelyn!

Seto's body was now cotrolled by a cat's spirt! He was playing all over the house like cat! He was also bugging the heck out of poor Mokuba!

M: Poor, poor Mokuba..

F: Ironically, Mokuba’s rich.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~back to them~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y: Them? What- Oh, nevermind…

Yugi: Lets get to Seto's house and fast!

F: It might move if were slow!

M: Damn that quick house!

Seto: PUTMEDOWNPUTMEDOWNPUTMEDOWN!!!(scrachs Tristin's hand)

Y: Tristan, using his excellent survival skills, simply licks the wound clean and continues on.

Tristin: Fine!(drops Seto)

F: That’s what you get for linking your damn words together!

M: You shall pay for your use of inappropriate dialogue!

Seto: (lands on feet. He strechs like cats do after being held. then walks towards his house tail in air) I am going to swich bodys now.

Y: Strechs? Swich? This guy must not have a T on his key board!

Tristin: I gotta see seto's body acting like a cat! Lets fallow!

Joey: C'mon guys!

Tea: Guys? Aren’t I a girl???

F: Um, no.

Yugi: Just come on!

M: (Tea) Hell no! I refuse to answer to sexist commands!

Tea: fine!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Seto's house~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mokuba runs out.

Y: (Mokuba) Time for my 4:00 PM funrun!

Mokuba: (trips over Seto) Ahhh!(jupms up again) My brother is insane!

F: Jupms?

M: (Yugi) Insane is so harsh. We prefer, quirky.

Seto: I am NOT insane!

Y: (Seto) You know I have a glandular problem!

Mokuba: COOL! a talking cat!

F: HEY!! Why didn’t anyone notice that earlier?

Seto: I am your brother! somehow a cat and I swiched bodys.

Mokuba: oh, well dosen't that make scence!

M: (Mokuba) Hmm talking Seto cat, Seto body acting like a cat, it so illogical…

Human Seto: (runs out) MEROWWWWWW!!!

Y: (Laughing) What the hells a merow!?

All: move out of his way

F: If it was all of them, who were they telling?

Human Seto: (climbs up the nearest tree. Looks down at them as if they were mice) HISSSSSS!

M: (Kaiba body) That’s the noise you’d make if you were sizzlin on my grill like the mice you are!!!

Tristin and Joey go hasterical at this!

All: We’ve been hYsterical from the start, mostly from the lack of good spelling.

Tristin: HAHAHA! Look! He looks so dumb!

F: Says head spike.

Joey: HAHAHA!! I know!

M: Says king of stupid.

All of a sudden Human Seto jumps out of tree and runs at them. He pins Yugi down like a mouse!, But Joey smacks him with a broom.

Y: Joey always has a broom with him to fend off cats and clean things!

Joey: BAD CAT PERSON!

F: I- oh, I cant think of anything…

Seto: I want my body! (runs to his body) How do I swich?

M: Like the cats gunna know.

Y: (Wizard from Gauntlet Legends) To lift the spell, you must obtain the FLEA SPRAY OF BETRAYAL AND ATONEMENT, and defeat, the CAT-HUMAN-BODY-SWITCHING ORC!!

Human Seto: MEROWWWWWW!! (runs inside)

F: Who didn’t see that coming.

Ryou: (turns into yamie) I think I know.(has evil plan)

M: Thank you for pointing that out to us in the form of a verb.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END FOR NOW!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: want more?

All: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nicky: weird huh?

All: NO, STUPID!!!!!!!!!!

J: Uhh yeah.

All: R&R!!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

All: Ha ha, what a fat face!!!!!

2

OH NO!

F: That’s what I said when I saw there was a second chapter.

Me: BACK!

M: FRONT!!

Nicky: ^________________________________________^

Y: Fat face!

J: ?_?

F: ? Face!

Disclaimer: I don't own yugioh!

M: Which would thoroughly explain your horrible financial situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Seto's house~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seto: (Looks at Bakura) How?

Y: Who? What? Where? When? Why?

Bakura:(looks at yugi) You know....yugi...

F: that just sounded gross!

Yugi: (turns into yamie) I know what your up to! don't count on it!!!

M: Don’t Multiply it either!

Y: I know what you’re up to! You’re going to try to eat the cat! You cat- eating fiend!

Bakura: WHAAAT???

F: Cracku WHAAAAAAAT!!!

Y Yugi: You want me to swich them and in the middled of it YOU will mess it up and I will be stuck in the cat!

Y: How would yugi switch them?

M: How would Bakura "Mess it up" ?

All Shudder

Bakura: ME? Never! (smiles evily)

F: How could this devilish smile NOT prove my innocence?

Y Yugi: RRRIIIIIIIIIIITE!!!

M: LLLEEEEEEEEEEEFT!!!

The yamies start fighting and forget about thhe others.

Y: (Bakura) That’s it! Its Jenkin time!

Mokuba:(sighs) Lets go find my brothers body.

Seto: NO! I WILL FIND MY OWN BODY! I DON'T NEED ANY HELP!

F: I should hope not, considering its only in the house.

All: stare at him.

M: Again, if EVERYONE is staring, who is this "him" there staring at?

Mokuba: I gess haveing a cat for a brother isn't to bad, BUT haveing a phyco brother who thinks he is a cat, well I don't like that part.

Y: I don’t blame you, I hate my phyco brother too.

Joey: LOOK OUT YUMIES!

F: (laughing) YUMIES!! HAHAHA…

Yamies both look up to see Seto's body lung at them from the top window.

M: His body lung at them? Like a human lung? GROSS!!

Seto: NO! STUPID DON'T RUIN MY BODY!

Y: If he’s lunging at you, then your body’s already pretty ruined

Human Seto: MERRRRRROOOOOO!

F: Meroo? What is he, a f***ing moose?

Yamies both moveout of the way and the human Seto land on feet.

M: Then, as the Indian tale foretold, sitting bear capture human Seto and set on ground to stun.

Human Seto: (is mad now) MERRRRRRRRROOOOO!!!!!! (chases yamies)

F: Geez! They must have signs on their back that say, EAT ME, IM A MOUSE!!!

Bakura: (turns back into Ryou) Huh? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (pulls out mouse and waves it) Here ya go!

Y: Ooh, its a biggun there, eh?

M: Wait, where’d the mouse come from? He just has them in his pocket?

Human Seto: (looks at it as if hynotised(don't got spell check))

M: I reckoned you don’t got no spell chekin, consitrin your horrible grammar.

Ryou: (Throws it) Go get it!

F: Throws "it" ? I hope its not that "it"….

Human Seto and Seto chase it.

M: It runs? Nasty!!

Tristin: HEY! YOUR NOT SUSPOSED TO CHASE IT!

Y: You have claws that you can shit in peoples throughts with!

Seto: It's to tempting! I can't take it!

F: Aah, the power of cheese..

the Mouse toy falls into a drain pipe and is taken away.

All: OOOOOHHHH!!! A MOUSE TOY!!!

Seto: NOOOO!

Human Seto: MEROW! MEROW!

Ryou: Heh Heh.... Okaaaay....

M: He almost sounds aroused by that!

Joey: well then......

F: Its an awkward time at Seto’s house when a mouse toy falls down the drain…

Y Yugi: (starts to swich them) Wait! Lets have some fun!

Y: (Yugi) Anyone for tennis?

Tristin: Make Seto a BIRD!

F: A WHALE!!

Joey: NO! A CHIWAWA!

M: A GERBIL!!

Ryou: (yami tries to come out to mess Yugi's yamie up, but fails cuz Ryou won't let him this time) NO! A TURTLE!

Y: A NAKED MOLE RAT!!

Tea: NO! A A A UMM... DONKEY!

F: KONG!

Y Yugi: I think I know just the thing...

M: A… HUMAN!! That will be so funny!!!

Seto: Uhoh....

F: (Kaiba) IVE GOT FLEAS!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End for now~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: Vote in the reviews!

Y: Review: you suck!

Nicky: No... It dosen't have to be one from the fic....any you want.

M: Okay, Review: Nicky sucks!

J: We'll pick the funniest one.

F: J sucks too!

3

BeReady!

F: For no reason, just BE THE HELL READY!!.

Look, I know it has been a long time.......

M: Or possibly a short time..

Y: We just don’t love they way we used too…

F: We aint feelin each other no more, ya dig?

But I will get to it! maby check back next week...... I will be writeing the 5 fics I need through the week and post them next Saturday...... Be ready! ^____________^

ALL were too tired to joke in there, but relieved to know they don’t have to do anything for the next five minutes..

BeReady!

4

Look I know we promised to have a new chapter, I did for some fics and this might be one...... I really don't know if this is one because I am putting this message on all of them. I am getting rid of my computer, it is so slow. So it might take longer to write the other fanfics, I will though. I will write them at the librey!!!!!!! ^________^

ALL: or the next 10 minutes, maybe..

5

Feather brain

F: Damn, now we have to work!

M: This sucks!

Y: Damn you feather brain!!!

ME: heh heh heh!

F: ME: ho ho ho!

Nicky: EEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeee!

Y: Its like that film commercial with the freaky little midget!

M: Or Austin Powers!

J: ^______^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y Yugi(YY): Take this!

F: (YY) It will assist in my ultimate plan to destroy everything!

Weird things happen

M: The most description I’ve ever seen! WEIRD THINGS HAPPEN!

Y: Is this kinda like shit happens?

and the cat runs away.

F: With the spoon?

Human Seto starts eyeing them strangly.

M: Strangly? A strangling stare, hmm…..

Voice: Look what you did! Now I am a worm eater!

Y: Don’t make me strangle you with my stare!

F: Seto was disheartened when he lost his ability to shit in their througths with his claws, but soon learned he had a strangly stare!

A bird flys down and starts pecking them.

M: (Tristan) Dammit, Joey! I told you not to use bird seed for hair gel anymore!

All: ow owowow ow ow ow!!!!

F: All? Even Seto?

Y: Aah, the double-edged peck…

Human Seto(HS): (goes in tree and jumps off falling hard to the ground hard.

M: Then he HARDly got up HARD to HARD try HARD again HARD..

All: HAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Y: Even Kaiba couldn’t help but laugh at watching his gangly, ugly-ass body fall to the ground and break an arm or two.

Brid Seto(BS): Your in trouble! (Flys high and plunges down they all jump down and he flys into a tree)

F: Jump down?

M: Just forget it.

Joey: This is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fun!!!!!!

YY: I know!

Y: Nothing! (that was so lame)

They get a cage and put Seto(bird) in a cage.

F: But its not the same cage they brought out. Unless its THE cage they brougth out and put him in.

HS: (jumps up and down in an attempt to fly.)

M: Then hits the water in an attempt to swim.

All: (lagh more)

F: Uh oh, they’re laghing again.

Y: Even bird seto’s laghin.

while they are watching Seto try to fly, Seto(bird) is getting out of his cage......

M: That they apparently didn’t lock.

He flys over to Yamie Yugi and grabs his puzzle.

F: (YY) GIVE ME BACK MY PUZZ 3D!!!!

YY: HEY!

Y: See above ^

BS: NO! turn me back!

F: Says the bullshit apparently

M: Into a real boy!

YY: ........ Fine......

F: That took a lot of consideration.

M: (YY) Hmm, whats more important? Little Yugi, or laughing at Kaiba… DAMN ITS HARD!!

BS: That was to easy......... (starts to fly away with it)

Y: Wait he hasn’t changed him back yet!!

YY: NO! REALLY!! BRING IT BACK!!!

Y: SO he can be normal! EXACTLY!!!!

BS: hmmmmmmm, right!(hand it to him.

M: Bullshit said in present tense.

YY: FEATHER BRAIN!

F: FEATHER HEART!

BS: huh?

YY: (Turns Seto into a rat)

Rat Seto: I always was a rat.

Y: Ooh! Chalk one for Seto against Seto

Human Seto: (runs under the house an hisses at them)

M: (laughing) Seto can fit under his house?

Rat Seto: (runs up Yamie Yugi's pants) HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!(Bites Yamie Yugi's leg)

F: Infecting him with deadly poison and killing him, thus trapping Kaiba in a rat body forever.

YY: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END FOR NOW~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

YAY!

F: YOU SAID IT!!!

Y: Wait! That was a horrible way to end the story!!

M: Who cares? Lets get out of here before they roll something else!!!

And so, our heroes run out at supersonic speed back to the rec room, where Falco and Marth try to think of a way to come up with enough cash to pay for (Your name here)’s shovel, because they weren’t expecting to come out of this one alive.