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This MST rated PG-13
This MST features Poppy Seed (PS), Vuefire (V), Sephiroth (S), and Jerry The Shy Yellow Virus (J)
Begin laughing your derrier off. Derrier is fancy speak for ASS.
>The Adventures of Hope
S: A book about Hope? Should be about two words long.
>Chapter 1
S: Am I bleeding yet?
V: Not yet.. we aren't even that far in.
PS: What are you to talking about?
>On a warm spring day
S: Lector Hanibal sat thinking about Charizard 2000.
>a girl named
J: Trouble.
S: Monica.. it's most likely a lemon...
>Katie was walking down
S: The Road to Hell.
V: To the Adult Book Store.
PS: Adult Book Store? Eeek! Invisible Poison Gas!!
>the road.
J: With the Yellow Bricks.
V: Well... they used to be white.
S: Vuefire.. you have reached a new low.
>She was on
S: Drugs.
V: The cover of Hustler.
>her way
V: Sucked.
>to get
V: DRUGS!
S: Damn it.. you beat me.
>her first
S: Kiss?
V: Time..?
>pokémon from Professor Oak.
PS: Order today! Operators are standing by.
>Katie heard a
J: Who. It's a new Theodore Geisell book.
S: Dr. Suess is dead.. idiot.
>rustle and a low growl in the bushes
S: Obviously from people having more fun than we are.
V: Obviously.
>next to her.
J: Damn Exhibitionists.. they ruin the country.
>"Grrrr..."
PS: I'm scared! Sephiroth, hold me!
>Out stepped a
S: Very embarrassed couple.
>Venusaur from the
S: Sticks.
V: Ghetto.
>bushes. Uh oh, I don't
J: Think.
>like the looks of this."
All: Neither do we.
>Katie started to
V: Bend over...
Sephiroth smacks Vuefire very hard with a board.
>back away.
S: Not far enough!
>The Venusaur followed,
S: See, they are stupid.
>still growling.
V: It likes her...
>It leaped at her,
V: That's like my date last night!
>but Katie dodged
V: Yup.. exactly like that date.
>the attack and bolted.
S: Her doors so she couldn't see this story.
>"Go away Venusaur!
S: Please.
>Leave me alone!"
ALL: Gladly.
>The Venusaur continued
S: And so must we.
>to chase her and attack.
V: It's still chasing her? I say we elect it to Senate.
>"Venusaur! Venusaur!"
S: You know.. with all those vines...
V: It's a lemon in the making! Venusaur is a walking Lemon waiting to
happen!
J: Shhh.. you'll give people ideas..
>it roared.
S: It wants a lemon too.
>Suddenly Katie tripped over
V: Commence LEMON!
>a Geodude which was
S: Dead.
V: Gay.
PS: Republican.
J: Jesse Helms?
>about to attack
S: Okay.. a Geodude, Venusaur, nubile one girl, now we need either a
dragon, or some type of alter.
V: It's a bit too goth really..
>until it saw
S: Me.
V: It's momma.
>the Venusaur and fled.
S: The Fool!
>"Venusaur!" it roared as it rapped Katie in it's vines.
S: Damn.. it IS a Lemon....
V: I'm soooo happy!
>"HEEEELLLLPPPP!!!!" screamed Katie as the Venusaur
S: Started making her very uncomfortable...
V: he he he
>prepared to slam her
S: WHAT! COVER YOUR EYES, POPPY SEED!
J: Well, I'd never!
Vuefire does happy Hentai dance.
>into the ground.
S: Oh, he's gonna kill her... and the Fic will be over!
J,PS,V: Yeah!
>The Venusaur swung her
V: Heh heh, it "Swung" her.
>downward, Katie
V: Moaned in complete disregard!
S: Shut the f*ck up, Vuefire.
>closed her eyes waiting for
V: One of those tentacles... err.. vines.
Sephiroth glares.
>her to fly into the ground.
J: Coherent!
>Chapter 2
S: The pain... it is too great.
>"RRROOOAAARRR!!!" Venusaur stopped
V: (As Katie) No! Don't stop! More more!
Sephiroth uses PSYCHIC and smashes Vuefire into the ground.
S: Jerk.
>just before Katie
V: (Pained voice) came?
S: I'm feeling nice.. so I'll let you live...
J: Katabare Vuefire.
S: Watch it Jerry.
>hit the ground.
J: Duck and cover!
>Katie looked
V: Disheaveled.
S: I would have to agree..
>up, a wild
J: Thing, ungh, I think I love you!
>Charizard was there.
ALL: BLATANT SELF-INSERTATION!!!!
>"Charizard!" it roaredat
Sephiroth roaredat Vuefire.
V: Help! It roaredat on me!
>the Venusaur. "Venusaur!" the Venusaur
S: It must be a song?
>roared back and dropped
V: It's petals.. for a three-way!
Sephiroth uses ICE BEAM on Vuefire.
Vuefire is frozen solid!
>Katie. They began
S: Going at it. Oh, damn.. he's contagious.
>circleing each other,
PS: Coloring?
>growling. "Charizard!" the Charizard
S: Another song!
>leaped toward the Venusaur and used
V: Protection!
S: He broke out...
>slash. The Venusaur was shocked
J: That's a Charizard.. not a Pikachu...
>that it's beutiful
S: Play back this line and the previous line.
V: Okay... "slash. The Venusaur was shocked that it's beutiful"
S: Just what I thought.. that's a "beutiful" Venusaur.
J: See.. Public Education Grammar at work.
>flower had been shredded,
V: More like a CHERRY... blossom...
S: Grr...
>it used
V: Katie
S: I am not here..
>tackle and knocked
V: Up Katie!
S: Give it a damn rest, Vuefire.. you're NOT funny.
>over the Charizard.
J: Way up high! There's a land that heard of once in a lullaby!
S: I dunno which virus is worse... Sick-Ass or Candy-Ass.
PS: They're donkeys?
>This went on for a couple minutes
V: Heh heh heh
>both never useing
V: Protection!
Sephiroth cringes.
>their specials.
S: I'm specials too.
V: I'm specials in many ways.
PS: I'm specials! Love me!
J: Specials is as specials does.
>Finally the Venusaur used
S: Don't even think it..
Vufire whimpers.
>razor leaf, but the Charizard did
S: Don't you even dare...
Vuefire sweated profusely.
>a move that completely shocked both the Venusaur and Katie,
J: Charizard isn't an electric type...
it dug under ground!
S: wow. that is amazing.
>The Venusaur walked over
V: You.
J: This Venusaur is made for walking and it will walk all over you.
>to the hole
V: So.. that's what they call Katie now.
>and looked in,
Vuefire sits there silently thinking Vuefire thoughts.
>all of a sudden
S: The Fan Fiction ended!
PS: YEAH!
>the Charizard burst out
V: Naw.. too easy!
>of the ground right under the Venusaur!
V: There they go again...
>The Venusaur went flying smack
Sephiroth uses some flying smack.
>into a tree. The Venusaur was
J: Stupid.
S: No.. not just stupid.. DAMN GOOD STUPID(TM)!
>only strong enough to do
V: Katie!
S: You're VERY unoriginal..
>one more
S: KATIE! Damn.. now you have me doing that..
V: He he he.
>move. It attacked
S: Vuefire
V: Sephiroth
>with vine whip.
V: It's Dominatrixsaur.
>The Charizard was
S: Stupid.
Vuefire sings the "UNORIGINALITY SONG".
>trapped inside the vines
V: again with the Lemony Freshness.
>and couldn't escape!
J: If we have to stay.. it has to stay.
>The Venusaur kept tightening
V: He he he he ehhe hehehhehehehhehhehehhehehe!
Sephiroth and Jerry cringe at what Vuefire is thinking.
>it's hld,
S: Hld?
J: Something has a HLD on me!
>quickly weakening
J: Like Bob Dole.
S: I was thinking Pat Buchanan; but Dole will do.
>the Charizard. The Charizard
All (Singing): "The Charizard. The Charizard!"
>unleashed it's
V: I have COME to the idea that my sense of humour is not SPUNKY enough for
you people.
>strongest attack, flamethrower!
S: Go! FLAMETHROWER!
>The Venusaur was quickly engulfed
S: Yummy.. eat your amphibious vegetables.
>in flames, and fainted.
S: I feel dull.. I can not comment.. losing will to live..
>The Charizard was now
J: A Conservative.
Sephiroth looks confused.
>free of the vines but had been poisoned by them,
V: Hey.. it finished before it fainted....
S: You... are a sick bastard.. Vuefire..
>and gave one last groan before fainting.
V: He he he he hehehehehehhehehhehehhehehhehhehehhehehehe
J: I'm scared now..
>"I've got to save this Charizard!
All: No you don't.
>If it wasn't for it who knows what that Venusaur could've done to me!"
V: Bwa ha hahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhahahahhahaha
S: Now.. I'm scared...
>Katie took out a
S: Gun to put that thing out of it's misery.
>Pokéball and threw it at the Charizard,
PS: Where else?
>it didn't struggle much before giving up.
S: Same here.
>"It's ok, you'll be just fine!
S: I hope she is lying.
>Just hold on!"
V: To my hips!
>she said to the Charizard while
V: heh
>running as fast as she could toward
S: Her ruin.
>Pallet Town. Katie burst
V: talk about late...
>into Proffesor Oak's lab.
S: I wonder what Oak actually DOES in that lab..
>"Proffesor Oak! Proffesor Oak!"
All singing.
>"You don't have to shout I'm right here."
S: Is that his best line?
>replied Proffesor Oak from the next room.
Vuefire whistles as Sephiroth looks at him with murderous intent.
>"Now, what's the matter?"
S: (As Katie) I'm stuck in a fan fiction and I can't get out!
>"I've got a Charizard
J: Well, good for you.. I once got a Charizard.. take two asprin and you'll
be fine.. they don't last long.
>emergency!" "A CHARIZARD! Those things are dangerous
PS: And sexy.
Sephiroth: ????!!
>and hard to catch, how did you get one without
S: I can not come up with somethign non perverted to put here.
>even getting your first pokémon Katie?!"
S: (As Katie) I cheated.
>"I'll explain later, you've got to help it!"
ALL: No he doesn't.
>"Okay okay, follow me."
J: Up and down, all the way.. and all around.
>Proffesor Oak led Katie into another room
V: Oh, boy!
>where he
Vuefire snickers madly.
>healed relatively large pokémon.
S: Makes sense.
>"Let's have a look at that Charizard."
V: My Charizard is fine thank you.
S: Just tiny.
V: Damn it! You got me.... you're so mean..
S: Thank you.
>Katie released
V: I don't feel lilke making an ecchi comment right here.
>the Charizard, and watched while Proffesor Oak examined it.
S: Oh.. this is just wrong.
>"Well, can you help it?"
J: No, it's HMO won't let me.
>"It looks pretty beat up,
J: It's probably taken Mr. Stockdale's GYM class.
>it'll be a miricle if it survives.
S: Miricle?
J: Wonder of wonders, miricle of miricles.
>But we've got to try anyway.
V: Gotta love that can do spirit.
>If it survives till morning it's got a chance."
PS: I think that if you hadn't of put that gag in his mouth, Sephiroth;
Vuefire would say something around this time that wouldn't make sense but
would make you turn that lovely shade of red.
>Proffesor Oak hooked up all kinds of machines to the Charizard
V: Mrph! Mmmprh mrphhprh!
>and gave it some potions.
S: Hey.. he got it drunk.
>He than ordered one of his aides that watches
S: Kinda like "Sliver".. isn't it.
>the pokémon over night to keep a close watch on the Charizard.
V: AND TAKE PICTURES!
S: He broke loose again..
>"Here's where you can sleep tonight."
V: It's called "My room".
>He said showing Katie to a guest room in the lab.
Sephiroth hangs his head in shame for what he just thought.
>Katie couldn't sleep that night,
V: Wonder why?
>she was too
V: Busy.
J: it's people like Vuefire that make us look bad.
>worried about the Charizard. That's when she heard the night aide gasp,
V: Umm.. yeah..
>and sounds of a struggle...
S: I don't want to keep reading... mind polluted..
>Chapter 3
>Katie thought
S: There's a first time for everything.
>"Oh No! Charizard!" and rushed out of the room toward the sounds.
>They were coming from Professor Oak's lab with the Aide tied up outside.
S: I must not allow you to comment Vuefire! You must not comment!
V: I will try Sephy-san.
>Katie untied the Aide
PS: That's nice.
>and he told her Team Rocket was inside.
S: Kinda like that part in Final Fantasy Legend 2?
>"There looking for the Pokémon so they can steal them!"
S: Well, DUH!
>"We've got to save the Pokémon!"
J: Ya think?
>Katie whispered back.
V: (As Katie) You were the best.
>They headed just down the hall where the Pokémon were and began to gather
S: Large guns and Bleach.. you can't have enough bleach.
>the Pokémon. While gathering the Pokémon they were startled by what they
>heard,
ALL: So are we.
>"Here comes trouble..." "Make that double."
S: Cliché's R' US!
>"To protect the world from devastation..." "To unite all peoples within our
>nation."
J: A little nazi aren't they..
>"To denounce the evils of truth and love..."
J: Yeah.. Turth and Love suck.. and therefore must be destroyed!
>"To extend our
V: It's sooooo easy!
>reatch to the stars above."
S: reatch?
Vuefire reatches.
>"Jesse" "James"
V: LEMON!
>"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light..."
S: So many missed riffs here.. because I'm getting bored.
>"Surrender now
ALL: Okay.
>or prepare to fight."
Poppy Seed uses MINIMIZE.
>"MEOWTH! That's right!"
V: PSYDUCK! That's WRONG!
>"Looks like your cornered..."
S: Actually.. it's their cornered. We're just borrowing it.
>"So hand over the Pokémon now." Thinking
S: Doesn't happen much here.
>quickly Katie took as many Pokéballs as she could, said
V: Look at my balls!
>"Not without a fight!" and threw the Pokéballs realeaseing
V: Flem?
S: Okay.. I think we have gotten too out of hand...
>two Charmanders, two Bulbasaurs, and two squirtles. "All right everyone
>attack!"
S: Nice trick.
V: And it turned into a ballroom blitz!
>The battle was in favor
S: I thought it was in the lab?
>of Katie and the Aide, and Team Rocket soon ran with their injured Ekans and
>Koughing.
J: So what.. I run with the Vulpix.
>The two Squirtles and a Bulbasaur had been Poisoned during the battle and
>were given an anitdote
S: Gotta love this lab.. they hand out drugs.
>and put back in their Pokéballs. "Good thing Team Rocket didn't steal or
>hurt any of the Pokémon badly."
S: Too bad..
>This reminded Katie about Charizard,
S: I think this is the part where we cry.
>"Charizard!"
V: Cue the theme to "Love Story".
>She ran to the Charizard's room relived
V: Get a mop.
>to see it ok.
J: Whatever.
>Soon Katie went back to bed and actually fell asleep.
S: Figures.. after all the action she got that night.
V: he he he
S: I mean.. gratuitous VIOLENCE.... not anything else.
>The next morning she woke up
PS: Hey! I do that every morning!
>and went to check on Charizard. "Good morning." greeted Proffesor Oak
>cheerfully.
V: He had fun last night..
>"Good morning. How's Charizard?" "Oh Charizard is just fine. It recovered
>quicker than I thought it would."
V: He did have fun last night.
>"That's Great! Where is it?"
S: No comments... Vuefire.
>"It's in this Pokéball. But now it's time for you to pick a begginer
>pokémon!"
J: I want a begginer pokémon!
>"Can I bring them in here so Charizard can help me choose?"
S: I think Charizard would be more interested.. in eating one.. not choosing
one.
>"Sure, why not." Proffesor Oak left the room and soon came
V: He he hehe
>back with three pokéballs. "Here they are." Proffesor Oak said while leting
>them out
S: Okay.. enough with the dirty stuff.
>of their pokéballs. "You choose which one you want and I'll go get your
>Pokédex and pokéballs." Proffesor Oak left the room.Katie let Charizard out
>of the pokéball and said
J: (As Katie) Which one of these goes best with the salad, Charizard?
>"Well Charizard, which one do you think I should pick?" Charizard looked at
>each one talking to them and examining them very carefully.
V: At least he talked to them first.
>It finally choose one.
ALL: WOW!
>Chapter 4
>"Charizard" it said while pointing to the Bulbasaur. "So you choose the
>bulbasaur?" Charizard nodded.
S: (As Charizard) It goes best on rye.
>"Okay then." Katie picked up the two pokéballs and returned the Charmander
>and the Squirtle. Proffesor Oak returned with a Pokédex and some pokéballs.
>"Ah, I see you've made your choice. Here are your Pokédex and some
S: (As Proffesor Oak) Drugs.
V: Pills...
>pokéballs. Now have fun!"
S: I hope she doesn't.
V: I hope she does.
>Katie put both the Charizard and the Bulbasaur back in
V: Her pockets.
>their pokéballs and headed outside. Katie decided to let Charizard walk
J: I wanted a guilty verdict.
>along side her since it wasn't used to being in a pokéball and wouldn't stop
V: he he he
>moving. she let it out once they were outside of town so they wouldn't scare
J: Don't look Ethel!
>anyone. While walking through the tall grass Katie noticed a family of
>Charizards near a tree. They looked sad, as though they lost a family
>member. That's when Katie realized that her Charizard belonged to that
>family.
S: So touching...
>"Charizard," the Charizard looked down at her sadly "If you want you can go
>free." The Charizard looked at her happily but than looked sad. "Don't worry
>I'll be fine. I've got Bulbasaur to protect me. I trust your choice." With
>that the Charizard flew off to the family of Charizards who all looked very
>happy to see it.
S: Vuefire.. don't be THAT low..
>Katie turned and started to walk away sadly but was stopped by a small
>Charmander who pushed her toward the family of Charizards. "What do you
>want?"
S: We don't want to know.
>Katie asked, but didn't get any reply. Soon she was greeted by the family of
>Charizards. They talked with each other and Katie who amazingly seemed to
>understand them.
J: Plot device?
>Soon the little Charmander spoke up "Charmander Char Mander?" The Charizards
>looked at each other and nodded.
S: I think they are going to eat her...
>The little Charmander went over to Katie and climbed into her arms.
PS: How cute. :)
>"You mean your letting me raise Charmander?" They nodded. "Oh thank you!
>Thank you!" Katie was over joyed.
V: Or over dosed.
>"I think I'll call you Hope." the Charmander gave a happy squeak as if
>saying it liked the name. Katie went off with her new Charmander, Hope.
V: I HOPE this is the end of the story..
>Katie headed out into the tall grass in hopes of catching more pokémon with
>her new friend, Hope.
S: Looks like the end.. our msting sucked this time...
>Find out more of Hope and Katie's adventures in the next book!
ALL: Somehow.. I don't think so.
>The End
ALL: YEAH!