The Philip Rational:
DS Life Volume 1.
-By Philip Wesley-
-Presented by DMG
-May contain harsh language and/or rhetoric-
-Presented March 21st, 2004-

Well, this month took forever to get started. Here's the first of five DS articles that should have been up a lot earlier! This one contains a nifty little PNG that you can print out for comparing the screen sizes on the Nintendo DS, Nintendo GBA SP, NGage *cough*, the rumored screen size for the next Nintendo Game Boy system, and the mammoth PSP. It also contains some interesting speculation.

Before I get started: Congratulations to Sony for Kuju Games announced dedicated support of the PSP. I can't wait to see Bill & Ted's Excellent PSP Adventure! I'm really sure all those Train Simulators will do wonders for the American market as well. Hell, they may be a huge hit in Spain; but only if the Socialists don't outlaw Video Games. Naw, Socialists will just raise the taxes. Remember what great economic state the USSR was in before the evil Reagan Regime pushed toward its demise by the proliferation of Democracy? Ah, Spanish speaking breadlines will be the next thing the Terrorists hit. Congratulations on screwing yourselves!

All politics aside, the following PNG -when printed out right- matches all the sceen sizes perfectly. Some printers attempt to make the image larger than it really is. If you have trouble with it at first, trying importing it into a word program before printing. Once you have it matched up right with the GBA SP: The other screens will be perfect too. The PSP screen is slightly smaller than I figured it would be; but that system will still not fit into anyone's pockets correctly. Maybe I just need to have baggier pants? Didn't Jinco's go out of style a few years ago? I guess the PSP size is just Sony's way of making up for some sort of freakishly small endowment. Click on the image below to download it.

Click to download!

Most everyone has already seen the current "rumored" specifications for the Nintendo DS. The Touch Screen, the larger Screen Size, the Wireless IEEE802.11 protocol, the N64 quality graphics, the microphone input, the movie playing capability, the wireless messaging, and the ARM946E-S & ARM7TDMI processors are certainly interesting. I think a true test of a system is what games you can play on that system. There has been more speculation on the technical side of the system and a lot of "in-the-box" comments on how games might be. The rest of this editorial is meant to explore how your favorite games could be improved and made more challenging on the DS. This is pure speculation; but you have to admit that these would ROCK hard and heavy. We are assuming the DS shares a very similar design to the Nintendo Game Boy Advance SP in this editorial and future editorials. The rest of this editorial series will focus on how older games could be improved by the DS. These are made to sound like game previews; but no actual games have been announced for the Nintendo DS (*cough* Nitro... heh. *cough*) as of yet. These are theoretical games. NOT REAL GAMES. Our first game is a great old stand-by. We are assuming that the Nintendo DS will come with a Stylus and have a Microphone accessory sold seperately.

From Russia with love; this old classic gets new life on the NDS as it takes full advantage of the systems unique skills! The game features are as follows!
  1. Original Tetris - Both screens act as one large screen to make Tetris even larger than life! Switch between dual screen full view, or place you next block preview in either the top or bottom screen and get it out of your way! There is also a Tris Story Mode here where your Tetris Avatar goes on a journey to become the Tetris King (Or Queen).
  2. Tetris TOUCH - This new mode gives you a choice of three random pieces. You have only a few seconds to tap the right piece that you want! In order to play this game, tilt your NDS like you would a book. The right "page" is your right hand, the second "page" is in your left. You view the Tetris "Piece Well" in the left hand screen. On the right hand screen is a few second counter, and four random pieces. The control pad (d-pad) controls only the pieces in the left hand screen. When you put down a piece, four pieces show up on the right hand screen. Quickly tap one of the pieces with your DS Stylus or your thumb and then move the piece with the d-pad. If you do not tap a piece in time, a wave piece will show up on your screen. A wave piece takes up almost a complete line; covering what ever blocks you currently had.
  3. Tetris Puzzle - Piece together a brand new Tetris challenge with this mode! Set up piece challenges to see how many pieces you can clear in a certain amount of time using a set amount of bricks. There are chain reactions similar to Tetris Blast and Tetris 2 that can be made. Go ahead and put together your puzzle, than send your puzzle to friends via wireless. Edit your puzzle in Tetris Theme and also download new Tetris Puzzles for your game.
  4. Tetris THEME - Download specially colored or themed pieces. Edit the way your pieces look in the create mode easily. Draw on each piece using the DS Stylus on the Touch Screen. Draw in new backgrounds to play with and change color schemes. Now send these themes to your friends via Wireless. Take it a step further with the Nintendo DS Microphone Accessory! Record various sounds to match your on-screen Tetris action! This is also where you design items for your Tetris Avatar that cheers you on from the sidelines while you play Tetris. You can also compose music using the DS Stylus in an in-screen keyboard.
  5. Tetris VS - Utilize the wireless to battle against other players! Taunt them with your microphone while playing. Scan the area for other players. Try the new 4 player Tetris mode and take on four adversaries at once in heated Tetris play! This uses Tetris Avatar mode, where you walk around a special Wireless Town and talk to other Tetris Avatars via DS Stylus inputed messages or via the Microphone.
  6. Tetris CIRCLE - A special version of Tetrisphere which you can edit with "Tetris Theme." Uses the enchanced 3D graphics of the DS and can also be played wirelessly. Unlock this mode by earning "lines" in the normal Tetris game. Just like in Tetris DX for the GBC. This mode uses both screens in that the full 3D version is shown on the top screen and a special 2D "map" of the 3D Circle is displayed below.
  7. Line Swap - Trade in your Lines for special backgrounds and special tools for use in Tetris Theme! Use your Lines as money in wireless mode to purchase themes, chat stamps, and special Tetris Avatar items from other players for use in Tetris Avatar. You can also download special background music.
  8. Tetris Avatar - Design your special Tetris Avatar and design a house for it. This house you can fill up with furniture andn items you have won in the Story Mode or traded via wireless. Design a few catch phrases for your Avatar to say upon winning! Design clothes for your Avatar in Tetris Theme and swap clothes with other Avatars. Enjoy the wireless community with other players. Download new clothes and designs straight from Nintendo!

You get the idea, right? The DS opens up a bunch of neat new play ideas that have been previously unexplored in the portable world. Although there are games that use various aspects of this game already, such as: Mickey's Tetris Challenge (Game Boy Color), and Animal Crossing (Game Cube). The combination of all of those elements creates a very enjoyable game that could make the Nintendo DS truly appealing to puzzle gamers. It would be a fitting tribute to see real Tetris multi-player back in full force. The Original Game Boy Tetris is still considered to be the best version of Tetris. Maybe the Nintendo DS Tetris can beat that? I hope that this editorial has gotten everyone thinking about how incredibly sexy the Nintendo DS really is. For those unimaginative boobs who scoff at the idea of two screened portables, I hope this makes you think a little. If it does not, than maybe you should shove your XBox up your ass and repent for the fact that YOU are killing the video game industry.

-Editorial by Philip Wesley-
-Sources: Nintendo
-Image Source: Philip Wesley
-Property of