Introduction 
 When you hear the phrase "tools of the devil" you automatically think of things such as television, indecisive people, music, and "pokémon". But Satan’s "devices" are often much simpler. Yes, I am talking about Satan’s "simple machines": The "pulley", "wheel and axle", "lever", and worst of all the "inclined plane". 

 These four horsemen look very tempting at first, but that is just what Satan wants: to trick you into using his evil "devices". They are made to appeal especially to children offering such Pagan superhuman abilities as: 
(Increased strength 
(Increased speed INCLUDEPICTURE  \d  \z "file://C:\\America Online 5.0\\download\\globul1a.gif" 
(The ability to fly 

Now ask yourself: do these virtues follow God’s word? I think not! 

The "Lever" 
 The "lever" is a very deceptive and hides in your everyday life, waiting for the moment it can steer you from your morally sound course and into the hands of Satan. Imagine this: two children on opposite sides of a "lever", each one thinking they are in control of themselves. But they are not! Satan is controlling them! One "lever" oriented "device" instructs the user to "Put the blade on the rim of the can and pull the top off of the can". I can only guess when grade school children will be doing this to each other! 

 But "levers" are much worse than that. People are using types of "levers" to activate light in their homes while ignoring the light of God. Bob Simpleton of Texas had this to say on "levers": "It got so bad that I was using ‘levers’ hundreds of times a day and usually never thinking about what I was doing. I didn’t realized what I was doing with my life until a ‘lever’ slipped and almost took my right arm, if not my life!" Does this sound like the work of God or Satan? I believe the answer is painfully clear. "Levers" don’t want to help people. They only want to cause pain. 

 We must all take a hard look at ourselves and give up "levers", otherwise, Satan already owns you. You may say that it is too hard to give up levers, but the path of righteousness requires much sacrifice. 

The "Pulley" 
 Every day, hundreds of thousands of people entrust their lives to a satanic device known as a "pulley". "Elevators", building construction, mining, and "skyscraper" window washing are just a few of the ways people pledge their allegiance to Satan. "Pulleys" are used in the construction of nuclear weapons designed to destroy churches (chicken restaurants)"Pulleys" are often combined with "wheels and axles" to form a sort of "super-pulley". 

 All "pulley" supporters list one "useful purpose": To distort natural strength to create the illusion of "super-powers". Obviously they treat the "pulley as a drug and they are addicted to it. One person I interviewed said, "I like to create and destroy things with the power of my ‘pulleys’. I am omnipotent!" He then attacked me with a writing implement and walked away. He wished to remain anonymous. 

 Another source claimed " ‘pulleys serve as a gateway to the underworld." "Pulleys" are known to operate "elevators" leading beneath the earth’s surface. In the past, "pulleys" were a common means of torture, execution, and suicide. It is important to know where pulleys are used so they can be avoided and/or burned. 

The "Wheel and axle" 
 The "wheel and axle" is a dangerous modification of the "wheel" used by the "ancient" Pagans. The "axle" allows the "wheel" to combine with almost anything, even other "wheels"! This property is an obvious sign of homosexuality. The "wheel and axle" has caused millions of people to die in the form of car accidents, "train" wrecks, tanks, and transportation for people who cause death. Wheels offer such satanic values as: 
( Inhuman speed (The power to move big things more easily ( The power to run things over 
( Building bridges to the twenty-first century ( causing dependence on hurtful things 
( A stepping stone to more satanic "simple machines" such as "inclined planes" 

 Some older wheel manufacturers go so far as to murder a tree and use part of its corpse as a wheel. However, some "New Age" wheel makers have found it more profitable to torture the tree and make wheels out of "rubber". Satanists try to create "rubber" by using blood from trees of a certain religion or ethnic background. They constantly wound the tree for more and more blood for their "rubber". Does this sound like something God would want? Definitely not! 

 Matthew Simpson said in an interview with me "One day my child came home from school and told me about ‘wheels and axles’. Having heard that ‘wheels and axles’ were not allowed in several schools and churches because their spinning was distracting, I knew I had to say no. At his birthday party, several kids wanted to watch Soul ‘Train’, I had to say no because ‘trains’ have ‘wheels’ and ‘axles’. It’s not easy to be a parent these days." 

 One child who wanted to move a chair said " no problem, I’ll use the ‘wheels’ on the chair" Already his reality has been colored by this fantasy world. 

The "Inclined Plane" 
 When the "plane" first came about, I was a bit skeptical. When it became "inclined" I saw it for the beast it was. These "inclined planes" are a pure, unhidden evil. Since most of the evil is obvious there are already several documentations of it. Therefore, only a shortened version is here. 

 It is important to know that normal "planes" have been purified by sending all their evil to "inclined planes". "Inclined planes", however, have gotten ever more sinister. Inclined planes are best known for possessing the following properties: 
( Evilness ( Instability ( Sharpness ( Destructiveness ( Dishonesty ( More evilness 

 Throughout "history" "inclined planes" have wreaked their havoc on good values. When man first discovered "inclined planes" they gave man urges to kill all of God’s creatures. In "ancient cultures" the "Ancient" Pagans used "inclined planes" to build temples for and give sacrifices to their false gods. In the "French Revolution" ‘inclined planes killed thousands daily, only stopping when they had run out of "inclinement". 

 Through much research, I have discovered many little known "facts" about "inclined planes" 
( "Vertical planes" are more evil than normal "planes", but less evil than "inclined planes" 
( The "Plains Indians" are NOT "inclined planes" but are evil nonetheless 
( Most "inclined planes" are solid, but a few kinds are "liquid"("mixtures" of solid and "liquid" are the most evil) 
( "Airplanes" are not "inclined planes" or "Plains Indians" but are highly evil 
 

"Simple Machine" Links to the Occult 
 Through several sources, I have learned that every known occult group uses at least one simple machine every day! (That includes the "Amish") This frightening discovery proves beyond a doubt that "simple machines", the occult, and "Lawrencium" are all evil. Occult related "simple machine" death has tripled in recent years, which is almost five times more than in recent years. 

 The most well known group of "simple machine" users is the "handicapped"("handi-capable"). Replacing their God-given body parts with Satan’s "machinery" is definitely wrong! They place, nay, they fore others to place shrines to Satan in public places. Usually marked with their blue "handicapped" symbol, these shrines include: "pulley"-operated "sliding doors", "lever"-operated "auto-chairs", "wheel and axle"-operated "wheel" chairs, and their "inclined plane"-operated "rmps.", which is short for "ramps". 

 It gets worse from there. Here is a list of common satanic shrines they use so you can protect yourself from them: 
( Close "parking spaces" ( "Moving sidewalks in "airports" 
( Grotesquely large "restroom stalls" ( "Rmps."(short for "ramps") 
( Special "elevators in "government buildings" ( "Sliding doors" ( "Special" Olympics 
( Extremely "politically correct" textbooks ( Motorized shopping carts 

Variations in the "Simple Machines" 
 The "lever" is easily modified by moving the "fulcrum". This turns "levers into such things as switches, beating sticks, "momentum" builders for "edged" and "blunt" weapons, gun "parts", "clock" hands, and "joints" for evil robots that try to get good people to sin. 

 The "pulley", as said before, combines with the "wheel and axle" to be a "super-pulley". These "super-pulleys" often combine themselves homosexually to form a "multi-pulley". They feed off of their own evil and grow with satanic strength. It is these "multi-pulleys" that often lurk in "indoor transports" such as "elevators" and "moving sidewalks". 
 The "wheel and axle" as mentioned before combines easily with other "devices" It also, however, can elongate into satanic "cylinders" of death and destruction. It has a worse form than that.  Commonly called "gears" or "dangerous discs", these semi-"circular" "wheels" are used for high level destruction and the assembly of evil things. 

 "Inclined planes" can be wrought of almost any "material" that Satan and his followers can think of. It also has the devastating power to skew and warp into several satanic forms, such as a tornado and needles used to inject deadly poison. 

Conclusion 
 This paper was made to educate people bout Satan’s "simple machines". It is my feverent hope that all the good people of Earth will join together in God’s name and put a stop to these manifestations of evil. Do what you can to purify the world of these tings and protect others. We will all have to do our best to win out over evil once and for all. 
Disclaimer Reading or hearing about any part of this document relieves the writer and everyone else of all responsibility involving this document. The following people may be offended and may not want to read this. 

( People afraid of quotation marks 
( The "Amish" 
( The "handicapped" 
( Homosexuals 
( Disney 
( First, "Second", and Third world nations 
( You (but not me) 
( Jews 
( Children 
( Animals 
( Plants 
( Fungi 
( Bacterium 
( Antimatter 
( Time 
( Space 
( Legends in their own time (unless that time is October) 
( Fictional beings 
( Theoretical theories 
( Window washers 
( Bob Simpleton (If he or she exists) 
( Individuals 
( Groups 
( Corporations 
( People with poor eyesight 
( David L. Brown 
( Anyone else