| General Board Pool Party '00
By Globe Flower, Maxim, The Mighty Locke, Magus, Nitro,
Party hosted by Globe Flower
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[Globe Flower's house, Texas] Globe Flower: Wow! What a heatwave! [She looks around at the stragglers from her last party: an argument
is
Globe Flower: Hmm... *thinks for a few seconds* Got it! *to whole
[Maxim arrives] Maxim: I wanna swim! *he swims* [At The Mighty Locke's house] Locke: I could use a pool in this horrible Florida heat... OK, I'm
[Magus arrives] Magus: Hrpm, I Do Not See Sense in A Make Believe Party. *scowls at
[At Nitro's house] Nitro: WOOHOO!!! Let me jump on i- Wait a minute! It's raining
Globe Flower: Um... this party is where I live. It's not raining here,
Nitro: Oh, I forgot! *runs to Texas* *jumps in pool* [PokémonMaster151 arrives] PM151: I can't swim. *he kicks the fence* Narrator: The party is beginning to kick off! But what's this? It looks
Locke: *clears throat* *addresses guests* I am going to try an
[Everyone stops talking and looks to Locke's right] Locke: Behold! [Nothing happens] Locke: Dammit, I must have typed the wrong address. [CyberZero arrives] CyberZero: CANNONBAAAAAAAAAALL!! *jumps in, splashing everyone* This
is
Nitro: Ahh, the sun, the water, the fun, the lemonade, the Game Boys...
CyberZero: *switches arm cannon to Super Soaker mode* WATERFIIIIGHT!!! Nitro: *climbs tree with a bucket of water balloons* EAT WATER-FILLED
Locke: *replaces floaties with 16 ton weights* CANNONBALL!!! Eat - er,
[Q teleports in] Q: *pulls out water balloon bazooka* let's play war *shoots magus until
Magus: Grrr, I'm Going to Kill You! CyberZero: Magus, calm down, have fun! [CyberZero pushes Magus into the pool and pelts him mercilessly with
CyberZero: Live a little! *hides behind a tree* Narrator: Meanwhile, at the house... [S- Cargo watches the pool party from a window] S- Cargo: Hmm... They are close to discovering my secret underwater
Evil Grand Vizier: Master, Magus was foiled. S- Cargo: Bring him before me. [The soaking wet Magus is dragged into the room by a goon] S- Cargo: Now you will know the price of failure. Generic Goon 17665- Generic Goon 17664: *interrupts him* You got my name wrong. This evil
Magus: Umm... see You. *runs off giggling* S- Cargo: Damn it. It looks like I'll have to do this myself. *he
Evil Grand Vizier: Master, can I change everyone's control styles in
S- Cargo: *just about to step out of the door* Go nuts. [He sneaks down to the pool and climbs in unnoticed] S- Cargo: *quietly* Bwahaha. *puts on snorkel and goggles* [He submerges] Narrator: Back with the guests... Nitro: *dives into the pool* Ah, nice and cool. [At pokemongirl14's house] pokemongirl14: cool! man! i wish my pool was open. *runs to Texas*
[Dekar arrives] Dekar: My dad's opening my pool soon. Man, I can't wait! Locke: I wonder if you can type messages underwater... *takes laptop
Nitro: CANNONBALL!!! *dives in* *climbs out* CANNONBALL!!! *dives in*
Narrator: Can it be? The guests are oblivious to the evil mastermind's
[Beneath the pool surface] S- Cargo: Curses, my evil scheme is not working. *he uses his
Evil Grand Vizier: Master, what is your bidding? S- Cargo: Get a bunch of goons down here at the poolside to incite some
Evil Grand Vizier: Generic Goons 14362, 389, and 10034, you are
[The goons change into their trunks] Evil Grand Vizier: But you will need to be disguised so that no-one
[The goons all put on black ski masks] Evil Grand Vizier: To the pool, goons! [The goons march down to the pool] Generic Goon 14362: *to Globe Flower* Look at that fin! I think it's
a
Generic Goon 389: *to Locke* Look! A shark! You'd better run far away!
Generic Goon 10034: *to Nitro* Hey! You'd better run far away from that
Narrator: Oh no! Will our heroes be fooled? Locke: *to Generic Goon 389* Hmm... you look a bit suspicious... Are
Generic Goon 389: *long pause* Yes, I am pretty sure. Locke: Okay, have fun! Globe Flower: *whips out mallet* You will not defeat me, you Generic
[Locke pulls out his Illumina sword and slices the goons to pieces] Concessions Guy: Hot fresh meat! Narrator: Well, they saw straight through those goons. But what's this?
[Yoshi arrives] [The Mighty Charizard2000 arrives] Charizard2000: *uses Metronome* He he! *uses Hydro Pump on everyone* [Everyone splashes her] [Hbomb arrives] Hbomb: Cannonball!! *dives in* *climbs out* I'm blue, da ba dee, da
ba
[CyberMegaManX arrives] [CMMX joins in with Hbomb] CMMX/Hbomb: I'm blue, da ba dee, da ba di... [Gmem arrives] Gmem: Hmm... *jumps in* TIMMY! *evolves into a yellow virus* [Everyone looks confused] [Without warning pokemongirl14 pushes Magus, Q, PokemonMaster151, and
[Everyone else looks even more confused] pokemongirl14: that's for fighting in another topic. PokemonMaster151: Dammit I said I couldn't swim! *starts sinking* *Q
ViciousRabite: *treads water* *dazed expression* I didn't even know
I
Narrator: Hahaha... Anyway, I wonder what our special guest villain
is
S- Cargo: *thinks* Still no-one seems to be paying any attention to
my
[He climbs unnoticed out of the pool and tiptoes back to the house] Evil Grand Vizier: Licence To Kill, Stack, Pistols? S- Cargo: Insolence! I need some time to think of a new masterplan.
*he
[The doorbell rings] Evil Grand Vizier: Generic Goon 7596, you are perfectly suited to this
[Generic Goon 7596 goes and opens the door] [It's Yoshi] Yoshi: i want to talk to s- cargo. i have an evil idea. Evil Receptionist: Do you have an appointment? Yoshi: look its the goodyear blimp. *swallows her and turns her into
an
S- Cargo: I like your style. Yoshi: you have been going about this all wrong. you need a political
S- Cargo: What do you have in mind? Yoshi: i will start an i hate pool parties club. then your evil
Evil Grand Vizier: Can I be the president? Yoshi: i am the president. [The Evil Grand Vizier goes and cries] S- Cargo: You can take three goons to work on your campaign. [In half an hour the poolside is covered in IHPPC banners and posters.] Generic Goon 84: *to Locke* Here, have an IHPPC leaflet. Locke: Thanks. *he starts reading it* Wow. These are some scary
Generic Goon 84: Oops, forgot the legal stuff. Disclaimer - statistics
Locke: OK. [The goon walks over to Hbomb and CMMX and gives them a leaflet] Nitro: Do you think that goon might be connected to those evil goons
Globe Flower: You know, you might be right. Yoshi's about to give a
[By the diving board] Yoshi: *taps microphone* is this thing on? Narrator: Oh no! Can our heroes prevent the spread of S- Cargo's evil
Locke: NOOOOOOOOOOO!! [Locke pushes Yoshi into the pool] [Yoshi falls to the bottom and dislodges a plug] [All the water is drained from the pool and S- Cargo's lair is
Locke: How come I didn't notice that there before? Globe Flower: Hey! That is a pool toy I used to have! It deflated and
Narrator: With his secret lair revealed, what will S- Cargo do now? [S- Cargo sees the pool empty from the window] S- Cargo: Oh no, they have discovered my evil inflatable lair! Evil Grand Vizier: What now, master? S- Cargo: Get to the pool and try to calm everyone down. I'll take the
Evil Grand Vizier: What are you going to do there? S- Cargo: Lurk, of course. [A section of carpet slides back to reveal a hole which S- Cargo jumps
Evil Grand Vizier: I will go in disguise. *puts on CyberZero costume* Generic Goon 32: But CyberZero's already... [The Evil Grand Vizier stares him out] Generic Goon 32: *sighs* Never mind. [The Evil Grand Vizier runs down to the pool which all the guests are
Evil Grand Vizier: *fake accent* What happened here? Hbomb: Yoshi was due to give a speech. Globe Flower, Nitro, and Locke
CyberZero: And now, we have a pool party without a pool. *double take*
Charizard2000: I've brought the full power of my intellect to bear on
[Hbomb and CMMX sing a sad duet] Evil Grand Vizier: *fake accent* Oh how awful. Wait I have an idea!
Why
Charizard2000: Hmm... not likely. Can anyone fix this? [Meanwhile...] Yoshi: *climbs out of the empty pool, coughing up water* thats it, my
Narrator: Will our heroes help? And if so, how? Charizard2000: Well? [There is a very long silence] Q: i'm the biker [Everyone goes inside to play Goldeneye] Narrator: Everyone, that is, except Globe Flower, Nitro, and Locke.
Locke: *ponders* I think that pool toy is the super secret lair of S-
[They climb down into the pool to check it out] Globe Flower: Maybe we should press this button... *she presses a
[A door opens] [They all walk in to meet the nasty, rotten smell of old, recently
Nitro: This place stinks! [A hologram of S- Cargo appears in front of them] Hologram of S- Cargo: Oh man! You discovered my super secret hideout.
Computer voice: Self destruct sequence initiated. Self destruct in T
Locke: Oh no! We have to get out of here! Narrator: But what's this outside? Yoshi's walking over. Hey, that
Yoshi: i am drunk again. [Yoshi puts the plug back in the pool and starts refilling it with a
Narrator: Back inside the lair... Locke: Uh oh, there is water outside! Nitro: What's happening? Locke: Some drunk cow is filling the pool up with water! Yoshi: *faint voice from outside* i am a dino. Q: *faint voice from outside* i'm an alien. Globe Flower: And the deflated plastic hideout is about to explode. Concessions Guy: Slightly used evil lair, about to be blown up, for
Q: *faint voice from outside* i really am an alien. Narrator: Meanwhile, at the party... pokemongirl14: this topic is going to hello! [Yoshi enters and kicks everybody in the teeth] Yoshi: thats for calling me a drunk cow. *pause* i think i will have
Narrator: O-kaaaaay. I think we'll go back to the hideout. Nitro: Darn, the door's locked behind us. Come on, let's find a way
[They start running down the corridors] [4 minutes and many seconds later they still haven't found a way out] Globe Flower: The lair is filling up with water, and it's about to
Locke: I can use my sword to get out. Globe Flower/Nitro: YOU IDIOT! Why didn't you use it in the first
The Mighty Locke: Well...I, uh... *shrugs* *slices through the wall* Computer voice: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... 0. Self destructing. [Huge explosion] [They escape just in time as the lair detonates in the half-filled
All: FIREWORKS!!! Globe Flower: Ooooohhhhh... pretty colors... [Everyone playing Goldeneye, except Magus, stops to look at the
Magus: Sweet. *shoots everyone in Goldeneye* Evil Grand Vizier: Hey, I didn't have a gun. Narrator: Meanwhile, at the poolside... Globe Flower: Look, my pool's full again! Locke: All right! Now all we have to do is track down and destroy the
[CyberZero comes down to the poolside] CyberZero: *taps Globe Flower on shoulder* Hey, I just realised that
[They all party for about 10 seconds] Globe Flower: *holds up hand* STOP! Sorry CyberZero, but our task isn't
Nitro: She's right. We need to find S- Cargo and stop whatever evil
Globe Flower: I know! *points at floor* Follow the slime trail! Locke: That's not slime... it looks like an ice-cream that's been
Concessions Guy: Yep, sure did. The guy paid me entirely in pennies...
Nitro: I know it sounds crazy, but it's all we've got to go on. Locke: Let's follow the trail! [Globe Flower, Nitro, and Locke follow the trail of ice-cream] Globe Flower: Hey, this is leading into my basement. [They walk down into the basement] [S- Cargo is sitting at a table with a futuristic looking computer] Computer voice: Intruder alert. S- Cargo: *jumps out of his chair, dropping his ice-cream* No! Caught!
Globe Flower: *throws pokéball* Bulbasaur! Bind him with your vines! Bulbasaur: Bulba! *uses Vine Whip* [The vines wrap around S- Cargo so he is unable to move] S- Cargo: Bah! I am unable to move! Locke: Are you going to reveal your evil plot? S- Cargo: *smirks* Why not have a look for yourself? *nods at the
[The heroes rush to the computer] Locke: He must have salvaged it from his lair... Nitro: Never mind that! Look at the monitor! Globe Flower: Hmm... he's sent an email to thousands of addresses -
Oh
Nitro: It's a long shot, but I have to try! *sits down at computer and
[Five minutes pass] Nitro: *sweating* Almost... made... it... Globe Flower: *grumpy* Admit it, your username is just too long. [Another minute passes] Nitro: *wipes brow* OK, I'm in. Now to start trying to intercept these
S- Cargo: Bwahahahaha! Globe Flower: I guess you win, S- Cargo. By now, you'll have brought
Locke: *still looking at the monitor* Hey, wait a minute. None of these
Nitro: Huh? Wow, you're right! S- Cargo forgot to include the virus
Globe Flower/Locke/Nitro: YEAH! We did it! *they give each other high
S- Cargo: *long pause* What's an attachment? [There is a protracted silence] Nitro: *clears his throat* So... you were just sending a message that
S- Cargo: *evil grin* That's right. KWA HA HA! Locke: *long pause* Uh, that's not very evil... S- Cargo: It's not? Locke: Actually most people would think that was quite nice. S- Cargo: They would? Globe Flower: *sighs* Let him go, Bulbasaur. Return! Bulbasaur: Saurbulb. *releases S- Cargo* *gets sucked into pokéball* S- Cargo: You know what this means? All: YEAH! PARTY!! Narrator: And believe it or not... that's just what they did!
The End. |
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