General Board Antics It was a normal day on the General board at DMG Ice. Well, actually, the General board was NEVER "normal." Charizard2000 watched as Yoshi stumbled around looking for another beer.  C2K: "How old are you anyway?" Yoshi: "Huh? I enough old drink beer. *hicup* Where I put beer hat?" Yoshi stumbled away.  Charizard2000 looks up as S- Cargo laughs evilly. S- Cargo is  surrounded by Generic Goons.  GF: No more beer, Yoshi! It always ends up on the floor one way or  another! L: I know. We should really get Yoshi potty-trained. SC: Mwa ha ha! You are at my mercy. *pulls out UBB DestructoMaticator*  GF: Yikes! How can we stop him?  Char: I have an idea. Hey, S!  S- Cargo: Yeah?  C2K: *hypnotic voice* Revision. Exams. Other posts here. The current  STS! story. Happy Questions of The Day. Trying to join Party Goers. Two  immense MSTs.  SC: Drat. I do have a lot to do... *he starts to glow*  L: What's happening to him?  C2K: I think he's going to use DELEGATE, his most powerful attack!  *they all shield their eyes*  SC: *glowing at disturbing frequencies* Later. *implodes*  [Silence]  Yoshi: What now?  CMMX: Hey, look! His evil cape is lying on the floor where he was  standing!  TK421: Who's going to assume the role of antagonist in this story? L: Don't worry! I have a spare S-Cargo in the closet! *opens closet*  SC: Hi everyone! I'm boring!  GF: Locke, are you sure this is a spare S-Cargo, this one acts  strange....  L: It is an exact copy of S-Cargo, It should be just as evil as before.  SC: I want Telletubbies!!!! Wah, Wah!  CMMX: That thing is freaky......  SC: TELLETUBBIES!!!!!!!!!  L: I know, Yoshi can dress up as a Telletubbie! I have an old Halloween  costume....  GF: You were a Telletubbie for Halloween! HA HA!  L: I was Tinky Winky....   Yoshi: *drunk* O-okay!  L: All right! We have to get S-Cargo under control before he finds out  about the glass vase on the TV.......  *crash*  SC: Ooooooh.....preeeetty.........  L: Yoshi! Get in the Telletubbie suit! Quickly before he tears the  house down!  TelleYoshi: Hi S-Cargo! I'm Tinky Winky! Do you want to play?  SC: Tinky Winky? My hero!  CMMX: That should keep him busy for a while, now what do we do to stop  the spare S-Cargo?  GF: AACK! Here comes those evil members of the Sega squad! What are we  gonna do?!  L: We could dress C2K up in a Care Bears costume.  C2K: NO!  Magus: Give it up, C2K. You saw how S-Cargo reacted, and I heard UBB  Sonic loves cute and furry stuff.  GF: Grab that Charizard!  L: Got her. Stuff her in the suit.  PG14: If you cooperate, we won't make you read bad fanfics.  C2K: Not the fanfics! Just put me in the costume so I can get this over  with.. *She goes into a nearby room to change.*  CMMX: Say, GF, where did you get that costume?  GF: Hammerspace. You won't believe the freaky stuff that is in there.  *C2K comes out, dressed like a Care Bear.*  Everyone Else: O_o Charizard2000 grumbles as the Sega Squad oh and aww.  Sega Squad member: What care bear are you? I don't recognize you from  any of my care bear movies. C2K Bear: I am Pissed Off Bear. Now excuse me while I kill you. Charizard2000 hits the Sega Squad with Fire Blast.  L: Good work C2K! You're not still mad at us for making you dress like  that, are you? C2K: Yes I AM! Charizard2000 hits everyone with Fire Spin than burns the Care Bear  costume.  Everyone: Oww....... C2K: Hey! Sonic is still standing! Why? CMMX: I saved him. All: What!?!?!?!?!?! CMMX: I can't help it, I like Dreamcast. Any ways, I don't think Yoshi  can hold him much longer.. Yoshi: Urp! Uh, exslcuze me *hiccup* SC: Hey you're not a real telletubbie! They never drink beer! Yoshi: *hiccup* How do you know? *faints*  SC: WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! I WANT A TELLETUBBIE! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Sonic: He's crying so loudly, I can't even hear myself think...*runs  out and brings back some real telletubbies* SC: YAY!! Hears knock at the door.. CMMX: I'll get it! *Opens door..* CMMX: NO! Get it away from me! It's...it's to horrible! I can't even  defeat it! *Barney walks in* Barney: I love you... CMMX: Everyone! cover your ears! Do not listen to his evil melody!  AAAAAAHHHHH! *CMMX charges weapon* GF: I know! Barney trusts Care Bears! C2K, put this on!  C2K: NO! I did it once and will not do it again!  L: How many Care Bears costumes are there in Hammerspace?  GF: A lot. If C2K won't help us then you'll have to put this My Little  Pony costume on.  L: Never!  C2K: Get him!  PG14: Hold still, man!  L: I look like an idiot.  C2K: That's what you get for making fun of a Charizard. Now act cute.  Locke starts jumping all over the place, acting cute, and distracting  Barney while CMMX is charging his weapon.   Out of nowhere, a red blur enters the room, a green flash ignites by  Barney, and seconds later, Barney's head is lying on the floor and CZ is  standing on the other side of the room, admiring his handiwork. Much to  his dismay, Barney grew two heads where there was one to begin with.  CZ: Like the Hydra... CMMX! Hurry and charge! L: GF, can I please get out of this dorky pony suit?  GF: No, you have to distract Barney, now get moving!  CMMX: You have to distract him, I need a good shot. Let him pet you!  L: I better get payed for doing this...  Barney: Hey! It's a cute little pony! Hello friend!  L: It might have germs.  Barney: HE HE! You're a nice little pony, aren't you?  L: *whispers* CMMX, fire the stupid cannon already!  Barney: Hmm? What cannon? ....... AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  GF: Nice shot CMMX. Locke, you can get out of the pony suit now.  L: Say anything and you die!  *C2K laughs silently*  CZ: OK, now we have to exterminate S-Cargo and the Telletubbies keeping  them entertained. Let's go!  With a blinding flash, Simeoniad jumps to the fray, amazing all those  present, or at least giving them slight motion sickness. With one fell  swoop, he eats the Telletubbies, sending them back to whence they came,  presumably the inner-digestive tract.  C2K: Simeoniad, you idiot! Those telletubbies were the only thing  keeping the Spare S- Cargo from going nuts and destroying this place! Simeoniad: Oops. SC: Free! Free! Spare S- Cargo crawls around painting pictures of Barney, My Little  Pony, Telletubbies, Care Bares, and Pee Wee Herman all over the walls.  He's moving incredibly fast for a snale. PG14: My eyes! Can't.... Stand... seeing... all.. those... evil...  things!  S- Cargo crawls in the door.  S- Cargo: What the heck?!?!?! CyberZero: Look! It's the real S- Cargo! S- Cargo: Who are you? Spare S- Cargo: I'm S- Cargo! I love telletubbies! S- Cargo: What the ****!? I'M the real S- Cargo, you cheaply made  impostor! Yoshi walks up to them in an S- Cargo suit. Yoshi- Cargo: I S- Cargo real! *hicup* I rule world evilly! *Really  pathetic evil laugh* *Yoshi collapses asleep* CZ: This is getting crazy. CMMX in S- Cargo costume: Yes I'm the real S- Cargo. And all you other  S- Cargos are just imitating. So won't the real S- Cargo please stand  up! Please stand up! Please stand -- OW! GF: Sorry. But this is crazy enough without you getting into the act. L: *stands up* I'm S-Cargo! Vertigo walks in, seeing all of the commotion. V: Hmmph. Its gone to hell since they put Globe Flower in charge.  Luckily, I put a tracking device on S-Cargo for... some unexplained reason. Takes out radar, With a bleeping dot on it. Vertigo points at the real S-Cargo.  V: THATS the real one! The rest are phony! For no apparent reason, everyone ignores Vertigo1. PG: No, I am! L: I am! I know a way to make sure. Check the IP address. It doesn't matter that my IP is the same as The Mighty Locke's, I'm  still the real S-Cargo! How many S-Cargo's are there? PG: Yeah,so what if mine is the same as PokemonGuy's?  PG14: I'm the real S-Cargo! CMMX: No, I'm the real S-Cargo! You gotta believe me! M: No,You're all wrong! I am! L: There's too many of them!  GF: We have to do something! Everyone is in an S-Cargo costume. Their  are hundreds of them!  S-Cargo: I'm the real S-Cargo!  S-Cargo: I'm the real one! Surely you know it's me?  C2K: I didn't think I'd have to use this. It bans every IP that isn't  S-Cargo's.  Everyone but S-Cargo: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  C2K: There! The one that's didn't scream out. That's the real one! Ban  everyone in S-Cargo costume's  Everyone in S-Cargo costumes: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  C2K: Just kidding. Now, let's get the real S-Cargo!  Bakufun just enters the story... BF: How did I get here? What's going on? S-cargo should really register  so he doesn't have that problem... CZ: The REAL S-Cargo's name is actually S- Cargo. With a space there.  So he is actually registered and all. Vertigo1 feels like he's being ignored. V: To hell with this place. I... Vertigo pulls off his shirt V: ...have a BOMB! And he does! Then CMMX launches all 700 leftover pizzas from Cow party in front of  S-Cargo. SC: Hmmmm, good. CMMX: That should keep him busy.  Then the entire Sesame Street cast walks in.. CMMX: No.. To many evil...foam puppets..NO!!! MTPM: Hey! I'm the real S-Cargo! What are you all doing with my name?  Sure I have the same IP as CMMX and MTPM, but I'm real! Who are these  impostors???? GF: I know! Vertigo1, give me that bomb!  V: Uh, here.  *GF shoves the bomb down the Big Bird suit*  C2K: Why did you do that?!!?  GF: Well, otherwise we would have had dressed Bakufun up like a  Pikachu.  BF: And we wouldn't want that.  GF: Or dress Magus like Elmo. Take your pick.  QB: Hey, I'd love to see Magus dressed up like Elmo.  SuperPika: You could've used me as a decoy.  GF: If the cast of the Big Comfy Couch shows up, then knock yourself  out.  SuperPika: Cool!  *Suddenly A horde of Koopa Troopas show up.* M: I'm not really Magus, I'm a Moogle M a g u s | | | | | M o o g l e M: See? By the way..Locke, did ya steal me some dinner? L: No, Call me a treasure hunter or I'll rip your lungs out!* (* = as  seen as in Square's FF serirs) M: Uh, what was the topic, again? Random Person: There is no Topic!! M: huh? otherguy: Im Angry!  Then the entire cast from Barney shows up seeking revenge!!!  CMMX: OH NO!!!!! Now here comes mister Bill! He's our only hope! *picks up mr.Bill and puts a bomb in his mouth and throws at the crowd* Bill: OH NO!!!! *Blows up* GF: Well, that seems to be taken care of.  C2K: But the real S-Cargo is still here, and he looks like he wants to  do something evil.  L: I could comment on that, but I won't.  SC: I'm not going to do anything. And besides, we still have to  neutralize the Koopas! C2K: Hey! Let's dress CMMX in a bunny costume! They trust cute little  bunnies! And CMMX can handle their attack! CMMX: NO Way! Unh uh! No way! ML: This won't hurt a bit. Everyone ambushes him and puts him in the costume.. CMMX: This is so embarressing... Hbomb: Need some help guys. Hbomb here to the rescue. *tries to  explode, but is unable* Um, we're doomed. CMMX rips off the costume... CMMX: Guys, why don't we just use them for footballs? C2K: Hey! Never thought of that! Then they play football for 3 hours, and all but Bowser had been kicked  outta the stadium.. CZ: That was fun! CMMX: Yeah! Who knew Koopas made such great footballs. Bear from Bear in the Big Blue House walks in.  Bear: I smell a friend! Globe Flower does a typical, high pitched, horror movie scream. C2K: What's with all these evil things coming here?!?! HBomb walks outside.  HB: Hey guys! I think you better take a look at this! Everyone scrambles outside. Bear: Hey! Where are my new friends going? M: Look! That sign says "All Kiddy stars and Evil Villians: Get free  food and people to torture right inside!" BF: And it's signed S-Cargo! Everyone begins to gang up on S- Cargo. SC: Wait! I swear I didn't do it! CMMX: Yeah right! And I'm the president of The United States! C2K: Well than, hello Mr. President. CZ: Char, he's only the president if S- Cargo isn't guilty. C2K: I know. Look. There's no space between the dash and the C in S-  Cargos name on that sign. He was framed!  Everyone gasps.  GF: But who would want to do that? Meanwhile lurking in the shadows was a Shady Figure. SF: Drat. They know S- Cargo was framed. But they'll never know that I,  Evil Mr. Nice Guy am the one who framed him! Hahahahahaha!  GF: I wonder who could have framed him?  S- Cargo: I bet it was Locke!  Locke: Hey, don't look at me, I'm just a sweet, innocent bystander.  C2K: Sure, that's what they all say. Locke er...lock him up!  Locke: You don't have any proof! You can't do this to me!  NG: I did it! HA HA HA! I'm so evil, aren't I?  CMMX: Not really....  NG: Huh? Then I will prove to the world that I am evil!  CZ: What will that do?  NG: Uh, I'm not really sure, but I'm pretty sure it's good! I'll start  by posting TWO topics about taking over the message board! HA HA! That  will show them!  Locke: That won't do anything except get me more posts. More topics=  more posts for me! You're the greatest Evil MR. Nice Guy!  NG: I'm supposed to be evil though!  C2K: And ever since you've showed up, I have been able to find all of  the halloween costumes I had stored in the attic! You're wonderful!  NG: No! No! No! I am evil! I bring badness and horribleness to the  world!  SC: Even I'm a better villian than you.  NG: I challenge you to a duel! Whoever wins gets to be the villian in  this story. Is it a deal?  SC: Sure, but I'll win and be the villian!  NG: Let's go!  Vertigo1 is working hard in a Labratory. V: While those fools battle it out to see the villan, With my time  machine, I shall go back in time and Kill the person who made Astroboy, and  rid the world of Anime forever!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Random Blue Virus: Spam.  Meanwhile...  S-Cargo and EVIL Mr. Nice Guy are in a wrestling arena. C2K: The only rule is there ARE no rules! Lets get ready to  RUUUMMMBLE!!!! Evil Mr. Nice Guy punches S- Cargo. NG: Oh! I'm terribly sorry. Here let me fix that... S- Cargo uses spinning tackle on Evil Mr. Nice Guy.  NG: Ow! That wasn't very nice! SC: It's not SUPPOSE to be nice! GF: (Sarcastically) Gee, watching an insanely nice guy, and a snail  fight. How exciting. CMMX: Yeah. I was going to lie down on the couch over there, but  CyberZero beat me to it. CZ: Zzzzzz *snore* Zzzzzz C2K: Let's spice things up. The loser gets to be hit with Fire Blast  courtasy of your truly. NG & SC: FIRE BLAST?! Evil Mr. Nice Guy and S- Cargo begin viciously attacking each other.  Determined not to be the one who has to fry. Magus walks in.  M: Hi guys. What's going - Ahh! Magus ducks as S- Cargo whizzes past his head.  M: What the heck?! Meanwhile.... Vertigo1 puts the finishing touches on his Time Machine. V: Mwa hahahaha! It's finished! Now I can destroy anime! Mwa  hahahahahaha! Familiar Voice: Not as long as I'm around! V: Who's there? Familiar Voice: The name's Blue. Ice Blue. Ice Blue steps out of the shadows. V: (Sarcastically) Oh no! The big bad gameboy has come to stop me! What  ever shall I do? Ice Blue whips out a bazooka from behind his back, cartoon style. V: Uh oh.... Ice Blue fires the Bazooka destroying the time machine and sending  Vertigo1 flying out the window. IB: NEVER patranize me. Vertigo1 falls down and lands on Evil Mr. Nice Guy. They both lie  almost unconcious on the ground. GF: And the winner is, S- Cargo! Magus walks over to Evil Mr. Nice Guy and Vertigo1. M: I told you you couldn't beat S- Cargo! But did you listen to me?  Nooooo..... Charizard2000 uses Fire Blast. Vertigo1, Evil Mr. Nice Guy, and Magus  are fried. M: *cough* Why didn't you warn me you were going to do that? C2K: You never asked. Vertigo1 get up and coughs. V: well, you may have thwarted my evil plan to destroy anime, but I  planted a bomb in DMG Ice headquarters, and its going to go off.... right  now!!  *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!* Everyone ducks as pieces from a nearby car fly past their heads.  V: NOO!!! My car! I forgot to take the bomb out of it! And I was SO  close to finishing off my payments on it.  *Vertigo1 begins to cry* Locke walked up to the sign that had caused all the trouble and ripped  it down.  L: There. That should be everything. Bear walks outside. Bear: Hello all my friends! All: NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Everyone begins viciously attacking Bear. A few minutes later, Bear was  laying unconcious and beaten to a pulp on the curb while everyone from  the General Board relaxes inside. GF: Well. You're the villian S- Cargo. When are you going to do  something evil? SC: A little later. Hey Q, hey Titan. Care for a race? T: Sure. Q: All right, but there's no way YOU can win! Q and Titan walk outside. S- Cargo goes up to one of his Generic Goons. SC: Generic Goon 56102. Go outside by the finish line and make sure no  one beats me at this race. GG56102: All right boss. Generic Goon 56102 runs outside ahead of S-Cargo. S- Cargo laughs  evilly before heading outside to the race track. SC: This ought to be fun! Mwa ha ha ha!  THE END.