FAQ
Q. What is with the name DMG ICE?

A. It's the OLD Game Boy Model #. The old Game Boys say DMG - 01, The Game Boy Pockets say MGB - 001 (That's the model number for the Ice Blue one.) I chose DMG, because it sounded cooler than MGB. Game Boy Color is CGB-001. Of course Dmg Ice sounds cooler than CGB Clear Purple. GBA Platinum would be kind of a weird name. Whatcha think?

Q. Can you help me find a Game Boy game or product?

A. Only if you help me find true love, and a diet that works without cutting off anything major.

Q. Will I find ROMS or Emulators on your site?

A. NO. Emulators are for dead systems that companies don't make money on like Game Gear, Dreamcast, Genesis, X-Box, and Atari Jaguar. Game Boy is not dead yet. (And it won't be for QUITE a long time.) Besides; those eat up space and are NOT as good as the real deal.

Q. Will you post my file?

A. Depends what it is. If it's a walk through, review, special, Fan Fiction, editorial; or very worth file that you made. I will post it. Mind you though; I want great content that EVERYONE can enjoy. So please keep language to a bare minimum. I believe that we are all civilized enough to avoid comments like "Home Alone sucks my @$$#0!é". I will be a little more liberal with Fan Fiction though as long as you keep it to a R rating. (Mind you, if it's a really REALLY good Fan Fiction. I'll let it get by with an X; but I'll put up a little warning by it; so that children don't read it.)

Q. Sounds reasonable. How do I send a file?

A. By attaching the file and a good description in an e-mail to ( dmgice@dmgice.com )

Q. Will DMG ICE ever die?

A. When Hell freezes over!

Q. What is a Foy?

A. Foy is.. umm.. he's a BUG. He's the Bug of the New Millenium! He's also in Pokémon Gold, Silver, and above. And he's the best!

Q. Frenchy licked me.. and it left a tingling sensation on my arm..I am going to sue.. but I can't move.

A. Just be glad that Poppy Seed didn't attack you.

Q. Are the kids alright?

A. No. They're BLUE.

Q. Can you help me make a Pokémon site?

A. Umm.. not really.. go ask Nintendo.

Q. What are you doing?

A. If you change that first word to who.. it sounds nasty.. oh.. I'm commenting to your mindless question right now. ^_^

Q. I can't think of a question!

A. Well, I can't think of an answer to that one.

Q. What is your destiny?

A. To right wrongs and triumph over evil! And that means YOU!

Q. Why don't you put Game Genie/Game Shark/Pro Action Replay codes up?

A. Using one of those Game Enchancers voids your warranty. I do not support things that can void your warrantee. You can find "Game Shark" codes easy enough on the net; and what if they do not work? Then all Hell would break loose and you would flame me. Maybe I might add Game Enchancer codes if Nintendo ever licensees one. 

Q. I hate how your site looks! I need EYE CANDY! I need stuff that has shockwave/dhtml/php/flash, etc! Make it look better!

A. Sigh.. here.. smoke this and then look at the site. See.. better.

Q. Are you condoning drug use?

A. It's okay... if you the only reason you visit a site is because of how it looks.. you're already on drugs to begin with.

Q. What's with the little blue virus guys?

A. They are the future rulers of the World Wide Web.
-RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!

Q. My religion prohibits me from looking at your site; what do I do?

A. Find a new religion or don't look at the site.

Q. I HATE your opinion. (Or the opinion of someone else.) How do I flame you?

A. You don't. My opinion is covered by the First Amendment. AND only the LAME flame.

Q. Love your content and graphics! Can I have them and put them on my own site?

A. Yes and No. Yes, if you ask me. NO, if you are leaching the picture or don't ask. Leaching..
Leaching... BAD!

Q. Aren't all those game names and junk copyrighted by their respective companies?

A. Yup. And major thanks goes out to those companies. Now, go buy their products.

Q. I saw those virus guys on another site!

A. Yes, they do moon-light; but hey! So does Piky, Frenchy, and almost everyone else that works here. It is OKAY.

Q. >Insert other sites name< is BETTER than your site!

A. Tell that to someone who actually gives a flying fook about competition.

Q. Why you cuss? I make you eat soap!

A. Well, I'm over 18. I can say stuff. Even G rated movies get away with the same words. Besides, Soap is high in calories....

Q. Is something wrong with Philip? He seems to have some type of schizophrenia!

A. Wow.. you can say a big word.. but you haven't grasped what it really means. I'm no more schizophrenic than Matt Groening, Trey Parker, Carl Barks, etc. Just because someone creates a character and does a voice for it; doesn't mean that they are schizophrenic. No one looks at Shigeru Miyamoto and say: "What a schizo. He must think he's Mario, or Link." No one says those because.. they are usually smart enough to know that the creator of a character or a person who gives a character a voice is NOT the character. If you can not grasp that.. go back to kindergarten where you belong.

Q. I dislike your staff! FIRE THEM!

A. Why? They haven't tried to do anything explicit with me.. so I have no reason to fire them. :)

Q. Philip?!

A. Not Philip, dear Quark! MAGIC EMPEROR PHILIP! Bwa ha ha ha ha!

Q. What's my future?

A. A thing I don't feel like looking at.

Q. Plork!

A. Garmitually egwr etf!

Q. Do you get paid to do this?

A. Nope; but I'll find a way. I swear!

Q. Who are you?

A. I'm really a Gengar. Actually my name is Philip Andrew Wesley. My nicknames are "PawPaw the Wonderdog", Pocket Squirrel, The Duece, and The Avardancer. (Please don't ask me to explain them.)

Q. Explain them.

A. Only if you explain why your mommy calls you "bunny-butt".

Q. What's an "Avardancer".

A. It has to do with the "Screwtape Letters"; but I'm also a Gengar!

Q. What! You ain't no GENGAR!!!!

A. Yes, I am. I eat/control your dreams. Now, go away or you will have the Linda Tripp dream again. I am the music maker and I am the eater of dreams.

Q. What's a Pocket Squirrel?

A. Something all the girls love; because.. Pocket Squirrels are cuddly!

Q. Where do you get your news?

A. From the voices in my socks.

Q. When is >Insert game name< coming out?

A. The voices in my socks say that you need to check out... *runs away*

Q. You sold out!

A. Yeah, and my Record Label is estatic.. or are you just mad because you didn't get tickets?

Q. Pokémon is EVIL!!!! I know this! I demand you take down all Pokémon pictures!

A. Umm.. when you're down sniffing that.. can I borrow it? I'm out of anti-freeze.

Q. When do you update?

A. Between my sleep breaks.

Q. Are you single?

A. Yes and no. Next question.

Q. Do you have a girlfriend?

A. If you are going to be so persistent about it, fine. Here is a link to her picture.
She's SOOOOOO cute!

Q. Um. That's an animated minor. You're one sick dude.

A. Was that a question?

Q. No.

A. Ya sure?

Q. What makes YOU qualified to make a Game Boy site?

A. Divine intervention.

Q. I'm a pretty girl and I want your number!

A. Well, then I live in Missouri. Look me up sometime. But, first. If you were an item; would you be a pear, apple, watermelon, or hourglass?

Q. I'm a guy and I want your number!

A. I don't have a number. I hate technology. I don't have electricity either. I'm Amish. Yup.

Q. I'm a creature and I want your number!

A. I don't give my number out to creatures. (Well, certain creatures.)

Q. What's the Deally-Yo?

A. Was zyt, fudgestar, alls up the dawn with hep tork cassby on the glinch!

Q. Where are you?

A. I'm watching you. Look out the window. See that car? That's me. I have binoculars. Go back to your computer now. (And put on some clothes.)

Q. Is this site child-friendly?

A. This site is mostly "PG"; but some spots are "PG-13" or so. If it's "R"; I will warn you.

Q. Ich kein kÖnnen lesen englisch!

A. Ich besitzen ihr kind.

Q. What will happen to this site when the HUGE meteor hits the world in 2028?

A. The site will be fine; but the user will be down.

Q. Who's cuter: Samus Aran, Sonja Belmont, or Laura Croft?

A. SAILOR MERCURY!

Q. Are you in any way affiliated to Nintendo?

A. Only in my dreams. (Which taste good by the way.)

Q. What does a Pikachu taste like?

A. A big, furry, electric mouse. But why would you want to eat one? (They're high in CALORIES!)

Q. What does Jerry the Yellow Virus taste like?

A. Banana. Can we change the subject?

Q. What does Philip taste like?

A. Umm. I don't wanna answer that one.

Q. Please answer it?

A. Umm. Yummy. Yeah. That's the ticket.

Q. What does a FOY taste like?

A. Floffy.. hey! Change the subject.

Q. How many Game Boy games do you own?

A. Too many.

Q. Are your reviews done off ROMS?

A. >INSERT RESOUNDING "NO!!!"< All reviews are done off of the actual cartridges that you can buy at the store. I do not do reviews on incomplete games, demos, ROMS, or company test paks. I'm not EGM, I don't review incomplete games.

Q. Do you actually subject yourself to those kinds of animation you review?

A. Yes, and I'm scarred for life. Thank you.

Q. What's your favorite food?

A. Blue.

Q. Where do I find the Mirror?

A. In the cave after you beat the Hydra. Get the Cave Key from the Lizardmen that live in the swamp a little ways from the hotel.

Q. Where is the CARD KEY?

A. The fifth floor.

Q. Where's Mew?

A. On Uranus.

Q. Why is there so much sex and violence in anime?

A. Because it makes Miyazaki cry, and trust me.. he deserves to cry.. a lot. It keeps him creative.

Q. What is your opinion of other Game Boy sites?

A. They are my friends. Even though I will take shots at them on occasion. They also go great with Fried Rice and Fatty Sushi

Q. Game Boy sucks, man.

A. You go to HELL! You go to HELL and you DIE!

Q. Why don't you make an N64/PSX/PSX2/Dreamcast/Game.com/?? site?

A. Because I like Game Boy.

Q. Why don't you put up Home Brew ROMS?

A. Because Home Brew ROMS are usually posted all over the internet without the consent of the author and besides; I have limited space.

Q. Can you help me with a part in a game?

A. Yes. All that you have to do is say please and e-mail me the question.

Q. What systems do you own?

A. I own.. as of right now a Game Cube, Game Boy, Game Boy Color, Game Boy Advance, Game Boy Pocket, Virtual Boy, Lynx 2, Game Gear, Game.Com, Super Nintendo, Nintendo, Genesis 3, PS One, Dreamcast, Nintendo 64, Neo Geo Pocket Color, and a PC. I like video games! Is that a sin?

Q. Yes, it is a sin.

A. Who died and made you Pope?

Q. Do you have "connections".

A. Yes. I had Wario Land a month before it hit the stores in Europe; mainly because of my connections in Germany. When I moved here; I use my connections in stores and with companies to get me information.

Q. Man, so and so in the chat page/BBS is an idiot.

A. Why are you telling me this?

Q. Are you obsessive?

A. No, I'm just right. Not too fat, not too skinny.

Q. What websites do you visit?

A. Hmm. Quite a few. I also visit a lot of smaller Game Boy sites, Anime sites, Webcomic sites, and Pokémon sites. (Why not?)

Q. Are you biased toward a particular system, company?

A. While I prefer to go where the best GAMES are; I'm a Nintendo and Sega bookie. I like their in-house games better than Sony and Microsoft. I'll take a good game of Super Mario Bros. 3 or Sonic The Hedgehog 3 over Crash Bandicoot 3 anyday. It's the GAMES that make the system. Game Boy is blessed with thousands of great games and that is why I like it.

Q. "Cartridges or CDs?"

A. Cartridges. Why? Because, cartridges look better, last longer, and with compression ratios... can hold more than CDs. Although.. DVDs.. well.. that's another story altogether. DVDs beat cartridges hands down.

Q. CDs or DVDs?

A. Do you eVen neeD to aSk that? DVD-ROM.. drool.

Q. Final Fantasy or Legend of Zelda?

A. Legend of Zelda 4: "Link's Awakening" DX is better than many a Final Fantasy game. Although, Final Fantasy 3 for the SNES ranks right below Legend of Zelda 4.

Q. Name your ten favorite games of all time. (Right now..)

A. Hmm. That is easy. Super Mario. Bros 3, Legend of Zelda 4: "Link'sAwakening" DX, Pokémon, Final Fantasy 3 (AKA FF6), Sonic the Hedgehog 3, Tetris, Survival Kids, Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete, Great Greed, and Earthbound. Surprising.. isn't it?

Q. I like ham.

A. Ham owns you.

Q. What did you do before you started Dmg Ice?

A. Stalk people and make content for other sites. Read some of my stuff under the ALIAS "The Avardancer at sites like ZHQ, and Nintendorks. Some of my other cool things are on smaller sites. I still write stuff for people. I'll go through the net, find a site, and if I like the person, I'll sign the guestbook or send something cool. I look for ORIGINAL contentin sites.

Q. >Insert name of content or section on Dmg Ice< SUX!!

A. You're entitled to your opinion. (Padrino, get 'em some shoes.)

Q. What clubs do you belong too? Where do you hang out?

A. I'm part of the "Game Boy Mafia" and I hang out where ever I want.

Q. Do you play Quake/Unreal/C & C/Diablo/etc.?

A. I don't play multi-player games on the internet.... for now anyways..

Q. How do you afford the games you own?

A. Business. Next question.

Q. What business?

A. My pal "Padrino" will talk to you about it later. (What's your shoe size?)

Q. Could you link to my site?

A. Depends... do you do windows?

Q. Could you please give me such and such game?

A. No.

Q. What lies in the Forbidden Zone.

A. The truth; but be careful traveler, you may not like what you see....

Q. Can I be a Staff Member?

A. I'll think about it. How good are you at foot massage?

Q. Can I use such and such picture from this site?

A. Depends on the picture. The incriminating pictures of me and the Olsen Twins can not leave this site.

q. my shift key does not work.

a. try duct tape. duct tape can fix anything.

Q. I think Game Gear, Neo Geo Pocket Color, Game.Com, or some other portable system is better than Game Boy.

A. I think someone has inhaled too much paint thinner.

Q. Pikachu!

A. Mewtwo!

Q. What's Fuzzy?

A. The illegitimate son of Snuggles the Fabric Softener Bear.

Q. What is your favorite game?

A. That one with the elfin looking kid on the island and he has to, like, scour through dungeons and fight some big ugly monsters with all sorts of weapons to wake up, like, a big bloated thingie.

Q. What's your sign?

A. Leo the lion. (Sing with me now. Awimbawa. Awimbawa. Awimbawa. Awimbawa. In the jungle... the MIGHTY jungle..)

Q. Are you Jimmy Ray?

A. No.. I'm Sugar Ray. As in Leonard.

Q. You are not!

A. Run in to the fist.

Q. Who created Game Boy?

A. Gunpei Yokoi. He's dead now; and he also created the Metroid series. I'll miss him.

Q. How old is your site?

A. Old enough to know better and not care about it as well.

Q. Who is the Cyber Ninja?

A. Gray Fox. Oops! That ain't a Game Boy game!!!

Q. Well, my "special friend" and I are having troubles. You see... I say that such and such is an acceptable practice; but my friend does not think so and thinks that I am disgusting for thinking about such a thing.Well.... umm. I'm going to refer to it as "spaghetti". What is your opinion on pre-nuptial "spaghetti"?

A. Umm. "Spaghetti" is best when it is cooked up with a dash of that"Onion Ring" if you ask me. Anything else would be "Stale Pizza". Okay, so I'm not Ann Landers or Abby. I run a GAME BOY site; not a helpline.

Q. What happens if Nintendo discontinues Game Boy?

A. I finally get a slight vacation and then I storm Nintendo's offices with a load of C4 on my back and cling to someone until they bring it back. (or not..)

Q. Cheech?

A. Chong!

Q. Do you get free games from companies?

A. Depends on what mood they are in and if they like me. Please... no more copies of Dual Heroes... okay?!

Q. How long have you had this problem?

A. Ain't no cure, baby.

Q. That's kinky...

A. Huh?

Q. What do I need?

A. All you need is love.

Q. I want a BB Gun.

A. NO! You'll put out your eyes!

Q. Wah! *whine* My site isn't in your links!

A. Well, I'm crying on the inside for you. Really.

Q. What kind of Pokémon are you?

A. A better one than you.

Q. Can I have some money?

A. Depends.. what can you do for me?

Q. You're weird.

A. And you just NOW figured that out?

Q. What is the lateral root of E + R = MC/3?

A. Ed McMann.

Q. What do you think of wrestling?

A. Is it good on toast?

Q. I love you.

A. Good. Now get back in the kitchen and make me some toast!

Q. What is Game Boy capable of doing?

A. Mind control and fathering cheap imitators.

Q. Who was Jimi Hendrix?

A. I want you to turn around, close your eyes; and start walking. When you hear the gun fire at you. Run and keep on running until you don't hear it anymore.

Q. How do I get back to the enter page?

A. Well, all you need is faith and trust! Or you can click on this magic hyperlink right here .

Q. Is this the end?

A. Of the world as we know it!!